WHY GEORGE MICHAEL’S ALBUM TOOK SO LONG.
7am: Right. Alarm just rang. I’m going to the studio today. Rise and shine!
7:05am: Fuck, I’m tired... Will put it on snooze for ten minutes.
9:30am: Fucking hell! What the hell happened to the snooze! Will go now.
9:32am: Ooh, Trisha is on. Won’t watch it though.
9:33am: Just a couple of minutes, then.
9:37am: I wonder if he’s cheated on her.
9:45am: Bastard!!
9:47am: Just leave him, for heaven’s sake!
10:30am: Ooh, This Morning! Will not watch it.
11:13am: Will leave soon. Tea first.
11:15am: What? What do they mean the Atkins Diet is no good for your body?
11:17am: Holy shit, I’m getting off it!
11:20am: I can’t believe nobody’s told me before that not eating fruit and veg and stuffing yourself with meat and get constipation is unhealthy.
12:30pm: Still shocked. Up yours, Atkins! Ooh, Home and Away!
13:00pm: Am going to go. Shower, have another cup of tea. Eat an apple. Ooh, ding-dong! Kenny is in the shower. Will, uh... yes.
13:30pm: Will seriously go now. Ooh, Brainteaser!
13:35pm: It’s so bloody obvious! Any idiot can see what word it is!
13:36pm: How could it NOT be that word? What the hell are truces anyway?
13.45pm: I know this one! I’m gonna call.
13:45pm: I can’t bloody call.
13:46pm: What am I going to do with 500 quid anyway?
14:01pm: Rehung! Haha!
14:02pm: Of course, it’s Hunger! Doh!
14:10pm: Oh, come on, small blue cartoon character! Hello!
14:11pm: It’s Smurf, you tosser!
14:35pm: I’m going to eat and then take off. Seriously now! Okay, I’ll watch Charlie’s Angels while I’m eating.
14:50pm: This guy was on some show, wasn’t he? The voice sounds familiar...
14:51pm: Dallas?
14:52pm: Colby’s?
14:53pm: The Bold And The Beautiful?
14:54pm: Days Of Our Lives?
14:55pm: Fuck!
15:10pm: DYNASTY! Blake bloody Carrington!
15:12pm: He’s kind of old...
15:15pm: His voice is still sexy, though...
15:30pm: Ooh, Flog It.
15:45pm: Damn, that table was spectacular.
15:46pm: I can’t believe they couldn’t get 100 quid for it! I’d take it!
15:47pm: Maybe I should call them about the table.
15:55pm: I really did like that table! It would look great in the spare bedroom. Feeling sleepy...
16:56pm: Cannot believe I fell asleep!!
17:00pm: Richard and Judy. Have to watch that, then I’ll go.
18:00pm: Ooh, Simpsons!
18:20pm: I’m going to go off now. To get a couple of hours before EastEnders begins.
18:21pm: When was Fresh Prince made anyway? Will Smith is looking like a total idiot. It has to be 80’s.
18:22pm: Did I look absolutely ridiculous in the 80’s?
18:23pm: Yes, I bloody did.
18:25pm: What an embarrassing thought...
18:33pm: Bloody hell, I’ve seen this episode before.
18:35pm: I wonder if it was in the 80’s...
18:36pm: It could have been last week as well...
18:45pm: Wow, handsome man in tights.
18:55pm: Superman my arse!
18:56pm: *grin* Yeah, I’d wish.
19:01pm: I really, really liked that table...
19:02pm: Ooh, Emmerdale is on.
19:30pm: I’m going off to... ok, after Coronation Street, then.
20:00pm: EastEnders.
20:30pm: Need to retire to bathroom and... shower...
20:47pm: It’s getting kind of late.
20:51pm: Going to the Ivy now.
01:05am: Obviously too late to go now. Will go tomorrow, for sure!