pigwins!
one day, on a morning stroll across the ice sheets of Antarctica, a teuncer noticed something weird. the penguins looked a bit... funny. of curse, penguins can look funny at alll times, but these were slightly different. they were funny funny.
the teuncer informed the rest of teunc, which immediately arrived in Iceland. realising their mistake, they relocated to the South Pole. luckily, some of the poles spoke the language. the teuncers started a serious investigation, and this is what they found:
- the funny penguins turned out to be piglike mutations of the emperor penguin. one of them wore a funny hat and was planning to take over the world
- they were semi-intelligent, and spoke hungarian
- both wildschwein and tamepork had mixed with the penguins, but so far, there were no pigdogs, and no talk of revolution
- Bluh, the Brave Handkerchief, gets a cold when exposed to polar temperatures
at about this stage, a cry of joy was heard. joy was not pleased. her penguin Meep had also been affected, eru knows through which strange rituals. he was now one of the pigwins, and spoke hungarian like a paprika (all paprikas speak hungarian well. they learn it from a book).
just when everybody was pereparing to slay the dwagin, in case it might alleviate joy's distress, a mad scientist emerged. the teuncs sled his monster instead of the dwagin, and in his gratitued, the good doctor agreed to test a new and untested remedy on the pigwins. the rest of the story will be told through his notes.
Fear knot, fans of Meep.
SPECTRE Labs is wroking hard to find
teh cure fro pigwinitis.
In fax, it's ready fro testing.
Eye sea we ahve a volunteer...
.--. moink?
/(..)\
// \\
/( )\
^^----^^
Do knot be scared, Meep.
Drinx this Potoin "A" lal dwon...
Umm, we're knot quite there...
/\ /\
//\\ //\\
\\ //
. . squeep?
=\o/=
/ \
/| |\
(|| ||)
^^-^^
Oh wlel, do you like cawwots?
No? Wlel then, thry Potoin "B"...
___
//. .\\ marf?
\ O /
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/| |\//
(|| ||)
^^-^^
Hmm. Thwee's teh lucky charm, they saz.
Thry Potoin "C" now...
^-^
/. .\ meowp?
=\o/=
/ \
/| |\//
(|| ||)
^^-^^
Taht did-ent change things munch.
Wlel, we at SPECTRE are knot quitters.
Potoin "D" has got to wrok fro sure...
.-..-. meemeep?
/v\/v\
// \/ \\
/( )\
^^-^^-^^
Almoost there! In fax, goond enurf?
No? Sure you two can't find wrok in teh circus?
Lal wright, then, thry Potoin "E"...
.-. meep?
/v\
// \\
/( )\
^^-^^
Success!
And now fro teh bill.
32 tonnes of CHOKLIT lpease.
Wlil taht be cash, chex or credit?
--
Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Lord Pêlluin,) Ph.D., Count of Tolfalas
ascii art: bargronk (sorrz!)
and dr. blofeld
photes: tamf and her
AMAZING
difital gamera
no pigwins were harmed during
this experiment. well, not
seriously, nazwaz.