(Matt and polls)
<Tribimat> I wrote one poll on an egroup that included a wonderful 
logic flaw.
<Tribimat> I included 'do nothing' under 'do everything'

(Matt's friends: I)
<Tribimat> He's wonderfully pedantic. He said he wanted to create a 
Complex Matthew that could do everything and nothing at the same time.

(TEUNC Optimists Symposium)
<Tribimat> I barely have enough to get my work done. I told you, I'm
a manic depressive.
<Tribimat> But I don't let black moods and suicidal impulses get me 
down! :)
<Jereeza> I 'ave those impulses too
<Jereeza> I'm a Pisces, so it figures
<Tribimat> Well...I'm manic on the outside and depressive on the 
inside, so I'm both at the same time...
<Jereeza> But then I take my drums and so...
<Jereeza> You should buy druns
<Jereeza> drums
<Tribimat> I don't trust astrology. My horoscope says I'm the 
Antichrist.
<Jereeza> LOL does it?
<Jereeza> Mine says I will die of drug overdose

(Matt's friends: II)
<Tribimat> Jason is half-Japanese. We aren't sure which half, though. 
<Tribimat> I'm not sure which half compels him to play board games 
compulsively, irritate Warren for a living and make rubbish films.
But he likes gangsters.

(Matt's friends: III)
<Tribimat> I'm still laughing about 1 of my friends who went on a
date and lost his car...they spent an hour and a half looking for it and 
she won't speak to him again. 

(TEUNCy perversions: I)
<Jereeza> French kissed, I have. Cuddled, I have. Anything more than 
that, I haven't. Uh-uh. No way.
<Tamf> Jez, girls or boys??
<Jereeza> Dogs!
<Jereeza> No, kidding, boys.
<Tamf> Jez, LOL
<Tamf> i wouldn't do more than that with a dog either!

(TEUNCy dreams)
<Jereeza> But the point is it's (ie mythical or other beasts, 
demons...) so much more intense and exciting than when I dream of 
having sex with a man
<Tamf> Jez, it would be, wouldn't it?
<Tribimat> I only ever dream of killing people. I imagine this comes 
as no surprise to either of you. :)
<Tamf> i haven't had any of those dreams myself, so i wouldn't know...
<Tribimat> Either that, or I'm back at school.

(Matt on politics)
<Tribimat> My political theory consists of 'I'm not supreme ruler, so 
I'm not interested'.

(MOM on megalomania)
<LaurieF> Yes, am I single-handedly representing the United States?
<theso> Wowwy's becoming a MegaloManiac!!
<LaurieF> Becoming?

(TEUNCy perversions: II)
<Tribimat> I just have to deal with the Castrate Matt and get a Xmas 
delicacy messinge now. 
<Tribimat> I only said I dint see why I shouldn't be allowed to stand 
for Female Deity of TEUNC...
<LaurieF> Matt -- are we voting?
<Tribimat> ..the next instant, a field surgery posse is knocking on
my 
door!

(TEUNC... being TEUNC)
* secnuet azeereJ
* newroM  7secnuet   13sa   4leww 
<secnuet> !!!newroM ,ovarb
<Tamf> !looc, zeJ
* newroM swob ta s'azeereJ sknaht
<secnuet> ?stun eht era erehW
<secnuet>  4!looc YAW ,fmaT
<secnuet> si erus ehs
<LaurieF> .yalp ot tnaw I
<secnuet> tluciffid erom s'iT
<LaurieF> .taht ees nac I
<secnuet> !spoO
<LaurieF> !thgiR
<secnuet> ywwoS
<LaurieF> LOL
<secnuet> ?nuf eht nioj uoy t'nod y ,fmaT
<LaurieF> .taht htiw eugra nac ohW
<secnuet> .ecitarp erom deen I
<secnuet> .pN
<secnuet> ?enoyna ...mmmrE

(on IRC)
<Tribimat> softrat's in easy ping range, but Jez...
<Jereeza> I'm not?
<Tribimat> Half the time it says you don't exist!
<Jereeza> Well yes, I have that problem all the time
<Jereeza> ... nothing serious
<Jereeza> I exist a little, then I dont.
<Jereeza> Do I now?

(Matt being himself)
<Tribimat> (Don't you just *love* being in control?)

(theso being himself)
<theso> 'mean' is my middle name: the mean softrat

(TEUNCy games)
<Tribimat> I think Six Degrees to Hitler is a great game for usenet. 
<Tamf> uha, six degrees of Hitler! i hope i don't have them.
<Tamf> buts... i guess i must have.
<Tamf> okay, my 6 degrees:
<Tamf> my grandfather was in gaol during the war
<Tamf> where he probably met some german officers
<Tamf> who had met other officers
<Tamf> and i'm certain one of them had met Hitler.
<Tamf> hah!
<Tamf> i mean, uhah!
<Jereeza> That's three degrees!
<Jereeza> WOW
<Jereeza> Tamf -> gramps -> officers -> Hitler
<Jereeza> four
<Jereeza> Let's try mine...
<Jereeza> Jez -> grandad -> more Germans -> Hitler
<Tamf> Jez, same as me.
<Jereeza> So, Tamf, we're related too!
<Jereeza> Watch:
<Jereeza> Tamf -> Grandad -> Germans -> Hitler <- Germans <- Grandad 
<- Jez
<Tamf> but is it 6 degrees?
<Jereeza> there are six arrows!
<Tamf> yebbut, we don't *know* if those germans met H.
<Tamf> anyway, i have another path.
<Tamf> i know some germpeeps.
<Jereeza> Well... they carried his pic around so ...
<Tamf> they probably know some granparents
<Jereeza> ... he must've meant a lot to them.
<Tamf> who knows somebody who met H
[lots of netsplits]
<Tamf> Jez, that was his troll thingy
<Tamf> with Hitler and, things.

(Matt on pedantry)
<Tribimat> Every year I write a new Chapter One. 

(TEUNC on geography)
<D6jevind> Tookistan is he homeland of the East-Tooks.
<Redarkady> i meant, of course, Turkestan. Or maybe Turkistan. Dang.
<D6jevind> The East-Tooks joined the Dark Side. They have leathery 
feet instead of woolly ones.

(MOM telling the truth)
<LaurieF> Arkady - how on earth does the topic always become your 
penis?

(more on... the subject)
* D6jevind to Arky We are just envious...WE don't have mobile
multiple 
penises.
<Redarkady> This is getting out of control
<Redarkady> The chicks always go for a Slavic accent.
<Redarkady> SOMEBODY MARRY ME!
<Redarkady> Choose your weapon! i need none, I HAVE MY PENIS! AN 
GARDE!
<D6jevind> And a strange ray shoots through space from Arcturus -
Arky 
has fired his penis!
<Jereeza> He'll impregnate a PLANET!

(TEUNC on religion)
<Jereeza> How did the green horse become pale?
<Jereeza> How did the horse become chloryd in the first place?
<Tamf> hey, it was in the *bible*, wasn't it? do you expect that to 
make sense?

(Öje the gourmand)
<Tamf> i would *never* go back to school
<Jereeza> Heh -  I'm going back to school in two years' time!
<D6jevind> How do you mean, Mia?
<Jereeza> As a teacher, of curse.
<D6jevind> Oh! D'uh.
<Tamf> well, but you get to choose what to do then, Jez
<Jereeza> Yep... 
<Jereeza> I can see myself already...
<D6jevind> You can choose whether to stir-fry or to boil the
children, 
Mia.
<D6jevind> And serve them with mustard sauce.
<D6jevind> [slobber]
<D6jevind> Baby pie!

(really?)
<D6jevind> I am NOT a Smurf.

(my cultural ignorance)
<Jereeza> What are pop tarts?
<Jereeza> Fast service prostitutes?
<Jereeza> "And fries with that?"

(Öje being himself: I)
* D6jevind teunces in a thoughtful, serene way, like a professor of 
Philosophy.

(on learning how to work with crosswinds)
<Jereeza> Where the FUCK do I log in?
<Paganini> Jez, you really don't need to log in unless you have to 
upload, or check email, or etc.
<Jereeza> Paganini --- I CREATED THE **** ACCOUNT BECAUSE I'M
BUILDING 
A SITE!
<Paganini> Jez....you ONLY NEED TO LOGIN, when you are ACTUALLY 
UPLOADING A FILE
<Jereeza> WELL I HAVE FILES TO UPLOAD!
<Paganini> So you need to login at the UPLOAD FILE page, buyt not 
befor
<Paganini> So go to the upload page and do it. :)
<Jereeza> Jesus.

(awwww!)
<D6jevind> You peeps are a constant inspiration.

(Öje being himself: II)
<D6jevind> "Portrait of a Young Bird as a Tweeter".
<D6jevind> "Portrait of a Young Ostrich as a Penguin in Drag".

(TEUNCy literary evenings)
* Jereeza makes everyone a rye bread sandwich with Dalmatian smoked 
ham and Ementaler cheese
<theso> You can't read Ulysses sober!
<D6jevind> You can't read Ulysses drunk either.
<theso> Fool!
* D6jevind to Mia I think what Joyce really has to say is all about 
language...
* Jereeza chews thoughtfully
* Paganini to Oje: What's it about?
<Jereeza> Oh - lots of things
<theso> Drunken Scream of UnConsciousnesshood!
<Paganini> Thank you very much for your concise answer Jez!
<theso> About?? Jlisce?? Haw-haw-hjaw!
<Paganini> Everything is all cleared up now1
* D6jevind to Pag It's simply one long, confused dream of words.
* Paganini to D6: In other words, not worth reading.

(theso on poetry)
<theso> "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day...."
<Jereeza> Thou art more lovely and more temperate
<theso> "Hot, fly-infested, sticky??"

(Varnast telling the truth)
<Varnast> Ah, CHOKLIT. Heals all ills.

(I love this one)
<Arejeze> Christ!
<Arejeze> What IS going on here?
*** a_herring is now known as Christ
<Christ> Yes??
<Christ> I am everywhere
* Christ  0,1TEUNCES inside-out
*** Arejeze is now known as Mary
*** Mary is now known as VirgenMaria
<VirgenMaria> Where are the Dad and the Spook?
<Tamf> i'm the DADDY, donchaknow?
<Christ> Let me get out of my pants first
<VirgenMaria> Christ?
<VirgenMaria> Pants?
<VirgenMaria> You don't have pants!
<VirgenMaria> You have a loincloth!
<Christ> Yes. Gotta go with the fashion if you want to convert the 
young ones
* Christ now wears jeans shorts
<Nanny-Ogg> Christ! isn't that cold?
<Christ> No, it ain't. I talked to Daddy and got warmer weather...

(Varnast being embarassingly truthful)
<Varnast> I was captain of my House chess team once.
<Varnast> Unfortunately, we were the only chess team in existence.
<Varnast> We never played a game.
<Varnast> And I was the only member, so 'we' isn't really accurate.
<Varnast> Come to think of it, I don't know how to play chess.

(another one I don't want to know more about)
* Paganini has a Pregnant Coat

(Arky being himself)
<Redarkady> I'm bored. Anyone fancy overthrowing their government
with 
me?

(TEUNC being itself)
<Jereeza> Well I'm just trying to be helpful!
<softrat> You ARE
<softrat> You're guiding me further into insanity!
<Jereeza> Ooo, bravo me!

(another flash of theso brilliance)
<Morwen> [Arky] said he'd be bax later
<softrat> So did Jesus, and he aint been seed since!

(same)
<softrat> And there are NO monsters under your bed either.
<softrat> Those pale green luminous tentacles are nothing to worry 
about.

(Onq being himself)
<Balrog_Farts>  
PPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(on nicks)
*** OutOfCheeseError is now known as BeanMeUpScottyFart
*** Alt_Tab is now known as SpamSpamEggsAndSpam
*** Naked_Website is now known as Intelligentsia

(Tamf! Good news!)
<Intelligentsia> Forests don't eat cows!

(Ah-Haaaa!!)
<Paganini> The Meaning Of Bork
<Paganini> Bork (n.) 
<Paganini> A former Rumanian that has not yet been sufficiently 
assimulated. 
<Paganini> Bork (n.) 
<Paganini> The sound a small brown frog makes while munching on 
beetles. 
<Paganini> Bork (n.) 
<Paganini> A kitchen utensil designed for use when eating pasta 
spirals. 
<Paganini> Bork (v.) 
<Paganini> The act of repeatedly and emphatically extolling the 
virtues of tomato and cheese sandwiches. 
<Paganini> Bork (n.) 
<Paganini> Mild expletive uttered by unruly tachyions who are just 
about to realize that they have missed tomorrow's episode of 
Pomegranites in Outer 

(TEUNC on Xmas)
<Freaksaus> Yeah, you know, nothing special really, only more crap on 
TV then normal 
<Jereeza> Pope, mass, mass, the Bible: Esther; the Bible: Jesus;
mass, 
Pope, Pope, Ben Hur...
<D6jevind> In Sweden it's a great Christmas tradition to watch Donald 
Duck on TV on Christmas Eve.
<Jereeza> And that HORRIBLE film about that guy who sees what life 
would be like if he was never born or somthing... Eughhhh!
<tartfos> "It's a WONDERFUL Life!"
<Jereeza> Yeah, that. I hate it.
<tartfos> You must be unAmerican!

(more softrat brilliance)
<tartfos> When I die, Cecil B. DeMille will be God!
<tartfos> "Famous Last Words: I Know I know."

(coincidence?)
*** LaurieF has joined #teunc
<Redarkady> Well, it will teach me for trying to look at Hentai sites.

(theso brilliance strikes again)
<LaurieF> I haven't been in the group for two days, what happened?
<tartfos> The earth turned twice.....

(just another usual day in #teunc)
<Jereeza> Hey - where do the plane WC 'contents' go?
<Jereeza> Do they dispose of them in mid-air?
<tartfos> "Up in the air, in thw wild, blue yonder....
<Jereeza> Ewww!
<LaurieF> Mia -- I'm afraid the softrat's right.
<LaurieF> It freezes solid.
<tartfos> Why do you think that they dye the water blue?
<Jereeza> And that's supposed to make it right?
<tartfos> Ooooo! Fecal cicles!
<LaurieF> I didn't say it was right -- just that it's DONE.  -- YUCK
<tartfos> No. They clean the bilges in port. It's a rule.
<Jereeza> That is horrible. If you're fishing in the middle of the 
ocean, you can get hit by frozen shit missiles
<LaurieF> Mia - LOL -- you just made me choke!!
<tartfos> It's slightly better than nuclear shit missles.
<Jereeza> Sowwy! :)
<Jereeza> Nuclear shit?
<Jereeza> That sounds nasty!
<Jereeza> What is it, fermented dino droppings?
<tartfos> OK   What do you call it??
<D6jevind> They use blue washing powder to keep the sea blue and 
sparkling.
<tartfos> And foamy.

(TEUNC on puns)
<D6jevind> I have no lower hat - that's just dandruff.
<Tamf> dandruff? hell no, Öje, those are teensy, weensy *wings*!
<BillHsu> This is the flakiest notion I've ever heard.

(more for Tamf)
<BillHsu> Moot.  Sindarin for "cow".
<Jereeza> Quenya version: Mootesse
<LaurieF> So we're going to a "cow"??   How very bovine of us!
<whytwokay> Like the 'bovine Miss M'
<LaurieF> "To err is human, to moo bovine."

(TEUNC on Fosters)
<BillHsu> OK, OK!  Contest!  "Foster's commercials in Middle-earth"
<LaurieF> "Balrog..... Australian for "wings" "
<BillHsu> "Marijuana... Hippie for Pipeweed'"
<LaurieF> "Lembas.....  Elvish for Granola Bars."
<BillHsu> "Tinuviel --- Sindarin for 'babe'"
<LaurieF> "Miruvor.... Elvish for Thunderbird"
<BillHsu> "Valarauko: Quenya for 'screwed'"
<LaurieF> Mithril....... Dwarvish (?) for stainless steel
<BillHsu> Celeborn: Sindarin for "whupped"
<LaurieF> Earendil.... Sindarin for "lost"
<BillHsu> "Gimli: Khuzdul for 'stalker'"
<eiruaL> "Rauros.. Westron for 'wet' "
<BillHsu> Smeagol: Kuduk for "Bastard"

(on commercials)
<Jereeza> "Galdeth, Houses of Healing: I used to hate battles because 
the men would return all dirty and covered in blood... blood stains 
are difficult to wash with an ordinary detergent. But when I bought 
Athelas Extra Fresh, I was delighted! Now, no matter how many times 
the men's armour sees the battlefield, it stays good as new! --- 
Athelas Extra Fresh , now with Menthol!"
<Jereeza> "Always Ultra: thinner than the Tirith scrolls, but you 
couldn't be safer with the Ring on!"

(more Öje brilliance)
<D6jevind> "Drinking beer brewed with water from the Nurnen is like 
peeing against the wind."
<D6jevind> The saddest Unfinished Tale is "When Boromir Shot Bambi".

(on books)
<D6jevind> Banazir = "Half-wit, simple".
<BillHsu> Samwise == dummy?
<BillHsu> "Gardening for Samwise"
<whytwokay> "Rocket Science for Samwise"


Stay with us --- we've only covered 1/3 of the Log!

Mia