An Interview with Tamfiiris the Yellow Dragon of TEUNC
Interviewer: Welcome, Miss Dwagin, and thank you for agreeing to come here.
The studio technicians you consumed will be easy to replace.
Tamfiiris: Oh, I hope so. I hate to be a bother to anybody.
Interviewer: No risk of that. Now, Miss Dwagin: Do you dislike laughing
hobbits?
Tamfiiris: It's one of the criteria for being a dragon.
Interviwer: I see. Well, my next question is: How do human beings taste?
Tamfiiris: These days they don't taste anything acos of all these unnatural
substances they put in them.
Inteviewer: How do you prefer your Dwarves?
Tamfiiris: You have to put them in water overnight to eat them at all. And
even so they taste rather like stale bread. No, I don't "prefer" Dwarves at
all.
Interviewer: Do dragons ever fly a kite?
Tamfiiris: Have you noticed how kites tend to tangle in your feet when you
fly one? Well, dragons have a tail in addition to that. So no, they don't.
Interviewer: Why do dragons consume Rings of power?
Tamfiiris: To make the food they eat disappear. Draks have a tendency to
become fat.
Interviewer: Would you comment on the rumours concerning your relations with
Sauron?
Tamfiiris: I did not sing karaoke with that man, Mr Ringmaster, and it was
definitely not an ABBA song.
Interviewer: So it was not "Ring, Ring"?
Tamfiiris: No.
Interviewer: Why are dragons never seen in the company of Orcs? Does it have
anything to do with Brussels sprouts?
Tamfiiris: I refuse to comment on that question.
Interviewer: Then, Miss Dwagin, I am free to draw my own conclusions.
Tamfiiris: Öje, I can't stop you.
Interviewer: That concludes the interview. Thank you for your courtesy and
patience, Miss Dwagin!
Tamfiiris: Thank you. I hope this can improve relations between dragons and
otherpeeps somewhat.
Öjevind Lång
for CRNN
10 december 1999 00:18
|
|