Rogoletto
Act I, scene 1:
The Duke of Mordor brags about all the feamles he's put in the sack
with the Ring of Wogah ("Questa o quella"); then he makes ardent love
to the Witchking's wife while the Withcking looks on in impotent rage
(and is even more miffed after getting joshed by the winged court
jester, Rogoletto). Enter Gothmogone, who inveighs against the
Duke's seduction of his daughter. Goaded by Rogoletto's mockery,
Gothmogone utters a dreadful curse: Rogoletto will have to read
flamewar threads in AFT for eternity. "Orrore!"
Scene 2: Just in front of his cave, Rogoletto is accosted by a
sibillant fellow who, naming himself Stinker, offers his services as
an assassin. Rogoletto sends him away, but takes his businness card
nonetheless. The jester reflects on the similarity between Stinker
and the Duke in the soliloquy "Pari sono": both show the curse of the
Ring, and both therefore had best be kept away from Rogoletto's
innocent young daughter Shelob, whom he has raised in innocence of
the curruption that has infected every corner of Mordor.
Rogoletto and Shelob sing a meltingly beautiful duet, in which the
Rog warns his daughter to stay in her lair and, above all, not to
mess with strange guys, especially if thye have one enormous red eye
in the middle of their forehead. Speaking of whihc, who should turn
up the minute Rogoletto is out of the room (to hunt for dwarves,
probably), but the Duke in person. ANother lovely, if mildly boring
duet; the Dukes hides at the sound of the Nazgul, come to abduct
Shelob in revenge for Rogoletto's jibes. While waiting to be
abducted, Shelob sings an ode to the "Caro nome" or beloved name, the
Duke's nom de guerre ("Sam Gamgee").
The act ends as the Nazgul drag Shelob away, having fooled Rogoletto
into thinking that she's the Witchking's wife. But then Rogoletto,
returning to Shelob's Lair and finding his daughter gone, rages
agaisnt the curse of the RIng. (Nor is his mood made any better by
the flaming messages the Nazgul posted to his door.)
Act II, Scene 1: The Duke enters his bedroom, upset that Shelob has
been snatched from his grasp. His plaint that she had almost moved
him to virtue would be more touching if we didn't know that 1.he was
trying to seduce the naive young lass; 2.he's already married; and
4.he's gpoing to ditch Shelob in the next act.
The Nazgul arrive and tell the Duke that thye've nabbed Shelob. With
a self-satisfied smirk, he fondels the Ring with which he will
conquer her ("Possente annello").
Scene 2: Rogoletto arrives at Barad-dur, where he greets the Nazgul
with studied nonchalance, while hummin mournfully. SUrreptitiously,
he tries to find out where the blazes Shelob is -- until the page
Shagurato confirms his worst suspicions. "She is with the Duke!" he
cries. "Seek for your girlfriend elsewhere. We think she was last
seen in Harad seomwhere," lie the Nazgul. "I want my dauhgter!"
yells Rogoletto. The Nazgul are shocked that soemoen as just plain
ugly as Rogoletto could have had such an incredibly beautiful (in an
arachnid sort of waz) dauhgter as Shelob.
Rogoletto bursts out in a savage denunciation of the Nazgul
("Nazgulani, vil razza dannata"), before quite calmly burning the
buggers to deeath. Thereupon, a dishevelled Shelob enters an sings
plangently of how, every feast-day, a handsome stranger with a Ring
and one eye in the middle of his forehead followed her to the Tremple
of Melokr -- and how the Nazgul kidnapped her and brouhgt her before
the Duke's Lidless Eye, and how she felt like she had no clothes on,
and didn't like it one bit. The Rog sings of vengeance: he will
murder the Duke and cast him with the Ring into the Cracks of Doom.
Act III is set in Stinker's Inn of ill repute, /The Trouncing Torog/,
where the Duke demands soem miruvor and Stinker's lovely sister
Spiegelena, in short order. While waiting, he sings a ditty about
how enchantingly eviol women are ("La donna è mordore"). Rogoletto
and Shelob watch -- the former stern, the latter aghast -- as the
Duke quickly and efficiently seduces Spiegelena with the Ring.
Rogoletto makes arrangements with Stinker: 50 flokarini before the
murder, and 50 afterwards; Rogoletto will perosnally throw the
bounder into the Cracks (which are conveniently located nearby).
Rogoletto tells his daugher that they will meet at Ciirth Ungol, and
thence flee to the Mines of Moria. Then he leaves on some errand or
other.
Spiegelena persuades Stinker not to kill the Duke, but the next loser
to knock on the door. Determined to die for the lowlife jerk who'd
seduced her, Shelob puts on her best hobbit disguise and knocks on
the door, claiming she has some deadly secret mission or other.
Stinker strangles her from behind and stuffs her into a bag
marked "Fisssh 'n' Sutff." (This part of the opera is sung in
Hungarian.)
Rogoletto arrives and pays the rest of the money to Stinker. Very
pleased with himself, he prepares to drop the bag into the Sammath
Naur; but is disconcerted to hear the Duke singing "La donna è
mobile." He chscks the bag only to find not the Duke, but Shelob
(and without the Ring, at that). In a moving duet, the Rog begs
Shelob not to die, as she consoles him with the thought that at least
no flame wars will erupt as to whether she or the Ring sang on Mt.
Doom. But after her death, the sound of flames and trolleries
bubbles meancingly from the volcano, and Rogoletto cries out: "The
curse!"
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