September 26, 3018
Singing group or not, I'm fairly pleased with the Nazdaq. Even the cross-dresser -- though that really isn't my cup of tea... But who knew that when I was doling out the rings? Out of the millions of mortals (well, thousands anyway; demographic statistics hadn't advanced very far), I had to make some selection; so, in my mercy, I chose those with whom no woman would be caught dead otherwise...
What I don't understand is, why Frodo and Company are in, apparently, such fear of me. What's not to like about getting an estate in Mordor? Still, as I wrote back at the beginning of the Second Age: "The economy of being is simply the unbecoming of unbeing... rather like Elbereth's perfume, that wafts into the allegergenicity. 'Il s'agit d'une mise en abime du neant de l'etre,' says Nienna. Perhaps, but whither then the Big Kahuna?" Oolee or Ollie panned that book, as I recall; I deeply resented that, and when I deeply resent something ....
September 29
Well, the Nasdaq sure know how to have a good time, even in Bree, which, according to their report, is rather a bad imitation of Minas Vegas, the sin city of southern Mordor. You can take the Nasdaq out of the Mortals, but you can't take the Mortal out of the Nasdaq.
This Aragon chap sounds like rather a sad apology for an heir of Isildur; he doesn't even have mouse-ears. Melkor, when I think of that Isildur, I get so resentful; cutting off my finger AND using the Ring to seduce my flame du jour. Ever since then, I've had to wear these ridiculous white gloves. But I had the last laugh when they begat Anarrghion, the cranky waterfowl ... and things went downhill from there -- though I was almost sorry for Eisner.
[Editor's Note: BUT ... here we have an apparent discrepancy with the e-text. According to the e-text, Isildur had nothing to do with cutting off Sauron's finger. It was Gil-gallamine who cut it off, when Sauron gave him the finger. Then Gil-gallamine went behind a barn to meet a gal, little knowing she was an Orc-gal ... he got away, but drowned in the River because he didn't know how to swim. This is according to "The Council of El Rond."
There are three possibilities: 1.I mistranslated something in the original Black Speech; 2.Sauron was so evil he even lied in his own diary; 3.El Rond was lying (to cover up the TRUE story of Gil- Gallamine's death?) Recall that, in the e-text, El Rond says that the only witnesses were himself and Cirdan... But for more on this hogwash, see my citation of Dr. Hsu's comments below.]
September 30
I think it was through hanging out too much with Nienna that my brother Saurtre went to the bad. Modern literature is an appalling mess... Modern architecture too; that horrible stuff they have in the Magic Kingdom.
Well, I have a new project: teaching Orcs how to appreciate classical music.
I think I'll check alt.maiar.valarauko for the latest gossip.
Professor Hsu remarks on the last two entries as follows:
Didn't the Witch-king buy up a lot of derelict inns in Bree and convert them into glitzy replicas of Isildur's tower at Minas Ithil, etc.?
>This Aragon chap sounds like rather a sad apology for an heir of
>Isildur; he doesn't even have mouse-ears. Melkor, when I think of that
>Isildur, I get so resentful; cutting off my finger AND using the Ring
>to seduce my flame du jour.Was this Miniwethil, the SIKRIT shadow-woman of the First (and apparently the Second) Age, the most underrated whampyr ever to grace the pages of 20th century literature, or indeed, all of SF?
>Ever since then, I've had to wear these
>ridiculous white gloves. But I had the last laugh when they begat
>Anarchion, the cranky waterfowl ... and things went downhill from
>there -- though I was almost sorry for Eisner."And Isildur usurped Miniwethil the bride of Sauron, whom the Eldar named Gorthaur the Squeaky, and with her begat Anarchion, He Who Hath No Pants..."
[Here Dr. Hsu is apparently citing a lost chronicle of Minas Mickey. The sobriquet "Squeaky" is but another Eldarin slander, for Sauron was renowned even in the West for the richness of his baritone.]
>Well, I have a new project: teaching Orcs how to appreciate classical
>music.Start with one of their own composers: Karl Orc.
>I think I'll check alt.maiar.valarauko for the latest gossip.
There's a big flamewar going on there now.
Try soc.support.depression.darklord and md.religion.morgothism.
transcribed by Menelvagor the Enervator
Sauron's diary - October 3-19
