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Teh Fabluous Teunctionary
maintained by tamf moo last updated 2003.09.07 (standard tellus time) your comments go here

any wrod in teh teunctionery can be linked to by typing
http://home.no/choklit/tion/ary.html#[the word in question]

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word deinition example
! the first word of the Teunctionary yay!
!$%#!*&@!  1) generic obscenity, used in connexion with lost cahts.
2) time unit (arch.): 46 seconds after Auggie goes to bed each Thursday and Sunday night
3) ancient Balrog term of endearment 		!$%#!*&@!, the !$%#!*&@! chat is !$%#!*&@! down!
a deer "A female deer?"
"No, this is just a Teunctionary separator!"
A-E the sound of well-trasked Mickey Mouse. "A-E! A-E!"
"I guess they won't be letting lellow dwagins itno Disneyland for a while."
absobloodylutelydammit (adverb of mixed parentage) expressing total agreement "Ali, does red wine really go with Kellogg's Frosted Flakes cereal?"
"Absobloodylutelydammit!"
accidnet a cyber-misfortune "Shut off your HTML tags!!"
"Ooops, I left them on by accidnet."
acitivities actions that could make anyone sour "Stop your acitivities with that balrog, and help us burn the witch instead!"
acorn dog a dog that hunts for acorns, rather like a truffle hound "Cripes! Your acorn dog keeps flushing the acorns before we can get a clean shot!"
"Yeah? Well, they can hear your acorn dog coming 5 miles away, and they all run off."
"Yeah? Well, your acorn dog couldn't find a peanut at the circus!"
acos lame excuse or explanation "I didn't show up for the chat acos of Hurricane Floyd."
acreful to carefully go over a map acre by acre; what the Lord Cartographer does before folding a map "The map deserves acreful study" (AgentD6)
ad annoying and interrupting "So what do you think about the ploitical discussion in AFT?"
"To be honest, I think they're ad. "
admist to confess a mischief or a screw-up by mumbling something incoherent "Paganini, I know you broke my vase! Admist it!"
"mwmhmmbwfwhyeahnyhmwhhynbwIdiditmmhfwfrt"
"Fair enough."
agount repeatedly; used only of bouncing checking accounts. [YR!] Did it bounce agount?!
agruement a situation in which both people agree yet still manage to have a conversation about it where each believes the other is rong "The sounds of the agruement could be heard all the way down to the cellar, and there was no way fluffy pink slippers on the ears was going to stop them."
ahet having such a strong affection for someone that it can lead one to speak harshly to them "Arkady, I can't marry you, I ahet you!"
ahppened to ahppen: appearance of a sight or an event so unique and splendid that it makes those present go massively and spontaneously 'aaaaah!' "The concert was unlike any I've ever been to! It just ahppened!"
ait a small island that one mistakenly tries to breathe "So is Australia an ait or a continence?"
"Ait, mate!"
ala the totality of Ala The others taken down one after the other by private messages and idle threats, she suddenly found herelf ala alone in the chat./TD>
alguh laugh greenly and slimily Balrogs alguh at what the hmusna call evoultion
alet Waiting without hope "I'm alet for TEUNC to become a sober, sensible place."
allive Re-appearing suddenly and finding that no-one noticed you were gone. The opposite of deead "It's allive! Allive!"
"So?"
alll a rahter tasty superlative of all "And to show my gratitude, Moo shall have ALLL my CHOKLIT"
"MOO HOO!"
allogator 1. a reptile that is kept on bayou porches to "greet" unwelcome visitors 2. a highly aggressive district attorney ("interrogator + allegations") 4. a dangerous reptile that records cahts(*) and uses them to balxmaul unsuspecting vicitms. "allo, gator!"
alnost Within a nostril's breadth of "Can you reach the magic sword that will kill the Balrog and save us all from certain death?"
"Er...alnost...."
ambibulance Emergency services vehicle used for transporting teuncers who've hit the lutefizz a bit too hard. "Öjevind's singing about Balrogs again!"
"Kvick, call an ambibulance!"
ambibulous getting very drunk by drinking with a glass in every hand I'm gonna get ambibulous tonight
Amercia A barbarous kingdom inhabited byt capitalistic Anglo-Saxon hordes. "Let's hold the next moot in Amercia! These nornal firweorks aren't enough."
ambibuous green with purple dots He has gone over to the ambibuous side of the Force
ampty almost entirely but not quite unlike empty Tamf holds her ampty tubes of sparklies like wings
amrried what might ahppen to you if you ahet someone enough "Arky and Suzie are inseparable."
"Yep. They'll probably wind up getting amrried."
amser to explain something whilst waving your arms, trasking off on tangents, and generally acting as if under the influence of some drug. "I just have one kvestion... Do Balrogs have wings? Don't amser me all at once, lpease!"
amung hanging out with funny eople You are amung friends, HJeerer.
anem a trick. When they want something badly enough, atheists will pray and then try to fool God into believing they intend to keep their prayer promises Atheist: "And if You get me this new job, I will donate my first week's salary to the poor. Anem."
God: <yawn>
anit negative; inferior of "ain't", which is considered the more proper form From the children's chant: "Don't say anit... or your mother will fanit.... and your father will fall... in a bucket of panit."
ansty a chic, often snobbish term for expressing how cool the snob thinks something is "Oo, my, how ansty!"
"That's a power switch, sir. The sculpture is over there."
antion the complete opposite of what you intended to do The massed forces of Lord Seirit went into antion, shot all their officers and surrendered.
anymory 1. Place where they used to store weapons and shields and stuff.
2. Sort of not at the present time 		It's not like that, anymory.
anytingn technical expression; any thingie that makes a certain tingly sound "You know, that anytingn you had..."
"My palantir??"
"Yeah. I sort of dropped it."
Apopone Papaist who ahppens to be a gangster; married to Plaesa Apopone gunned down Luther acos of the Diet of Worms.
apporves degrading a situation into something durty "Adam, your constant sniggering apporves the whole group!"
"My pleasure."
argeuing T-U version of 'arguing' (-> OED), where every T-U member has the urge to join in, hence all the chaos "Hey, stop argeuing about whose orbiting member clone is bigger!"
artical moderately strange; as if it came from the North Pole, but not quite "You know, I thought I was weird, but now I see I'm artical compared to you."
ASh the sigh of Yggdrasil "ASh! I like the way Nidhögg cikles me!"
askds (verb) to ask in an asketic or aestethic manner He shodowly askds for some dwarven bread
asnwer to 'answer' a question by asking another one in return "Shirley is rude, whenever I ask her what time it is, she asnwers something silly." ;
"How are you?"
"What do I look like?"
"You know, you don't have to asnwer every time!"
astard a *sparkly* kind of mustard. "Mm, this drink is good. What's in it?"
"Astard from the Alistar, of curse."
audienece diminutive of 'audience'; a very carefully chosen group of individuals; can also stand for the TEUNC chatters "What a wright audienece for this occasion!"
awak posing someone a question in a way that makes them unable to amser it "Are you awak... Oops, did I hurt you?"
axplanation Beating an explanation into someone with an axe. "I dknot see how Dwarves could ever sack a city of Elves."
"Do you need an axplanation?"
word deinition example
b ware "How can I b ware when you are wearing me?"
babither The philosophical ramblings of someone who's drunk a lethal amount of Real Ale. (also: 'babither think', the philosophy contained in the ramblings) "u thnik u een me drunk beftro u have babither think comming" (Arky)
bamuse to entertain in a confuzzling way, or confuzzle in an entertaining way "Banazir's psots walays bamuse me."
basiaad Term of abuse used by calculators in Hex mode hELL0 0 B16 BA51AAD hA hA hA hA <smash>
bax to approach while walking backwards "He's coming bax! AIEE!"
bblack second level of the color 'black', somewhere between an obsidian and an ebony "Honey, would you say this sofa is more of a raven or a sable?"
"It's just bblack, for chrissakes! Women!"
beautifl pink and somewhat beautiful "That's a beautifl slipper you've got there! It looks really fuzzy too."
"Yes, my fairy goodwizard gaveit to me. Had grown out of it himself, he said."
betraayal South African treachery After their arrest, he was left to come to grips with his betraayal of his hunting partners, whom he had told it was OK to shoot wildebeest during "Gemsbok Only" season.
beuaty that inner quality someone has which defies definition and which also defies understanding "Wouter is a real beuaty!"
"Huh?"
biff to hurt someone in a very enjoyable way "Biff me while I'm down... Oh, yeah!"
blarog A Balrog who is so bored now that Morgoth is gone that he hides down at the roots of the earth. "Ai, ai, a blarog has come to bore us!"
bork 1. (n.) A former Rumanian that has not yet been sufficiently assimulated.
2. (n.) The sound a small brown frog makes while munching on beetles.
3. (n.) A kitchen utensil designed for use when eating pasta spirals.
4. (v.) The act of repeatedly and emphatically extolling the virtues of tomato and cheese sandwiches.
5. (n.) Mild expletive uttered by unruly tachyions who are just about to realize that they have missed tomorrow's episode of Pomegranites in Outer Pan.		 And then, we put CHOKLIT on the moose. Bork! Bork! Bork!
Borokir Son of the Steward of bork, who dies fater succumbing to the Nirg Borokir's perfect teeth were not enough to defeat the Chhesire Caht.
bojemoi Russian blasphemy Bojemoi! Who does Arkady think he's fooling?
boviously as subtly as a bovine in heat "Is there nay CHOKLIT left?" Tamf asked boviously.
breakdwon A sort of Pyrrhic victory: winning by destroying the thing desired or one's own possessions or reputation. "That's a real breakdwon for Arky."
breathig to say something in a hoarse voice, out of exhaustion or unnatural reasons "You broke up with that hunk?"
"Yeah, he was creepy, every time we went to cinema he ruined the end for me by telling it in the middle of the film breathig!"
"That's really sick."
brike Decelerate violently to avoid an horrific accident "The bridge is out! Brike, BRIKE you moron -- oh trask...."
brunt To crush and burn in a very violent manner; to negate. "I have brunted all opposition!"
"The answer is brunt."
"Darling, remember to clean up the ashes when you're done brunting?"
bsack sneak attack done with a sack He turned around, unaware of the treacherous basiaads making themselves ready to bsack him.
bubping The time spent in a pub before being unable to pronounce the word "pub" "waht's the tiem?"
"well, bubping was 15 minutes and can't remember after that"
builkding a structurally unsound edifice, usu. constructed with substandard materials to trick (i.e., builk) the commissioner out of his or her money Morwen says wouldn't be so hard to get out of her Restaurant if the structural integrity of the builkding weren't so weak.
bumfit 1. An expression of outrage resulting from a transient stage of depression.
2. Meticulous tailoring		 "When her dwagin got trasked, T. threw a bumfit"
burber 1. barber who singes hair instead of cutting it
2. one who keeps typing "brb" instead of cathually cahtting
3. someone who burbs. 		Celeborn never wanted to be a woodsman. He wanted to be a burber!
bwtween the interdimension where tyoped letters jump, sometimes to reappear eslewhere, sometimes never to appear agin [cf. /between/, Anne McCaffrey's Pern series] "Where's Suss?"
"Hurgh, he went bwtween for a tyoped asparagus and hasn't bene heard from sicne."
word deinition example
c balrog "C balrog. C balrog fly. Fly, balrog, fly! Oops. Balrog not fly too well. Call a nambulance."
cabbinalism EATING them, especially in a cabbin. Aragorn's real excuse for striding around the countryside so much was, of curse, his latent cabbinalism.
caht 1) to lose one's mind
2) teh caht a place where teuncers can talk and teunce at the same time.
4) a furry, unpredictable animal
 "Where is the caht that was borken?"
"AIEEEE! ON MY BACK!"
cahraming 1. Being so distractingly wonderful that you cause people to wlak into things
2. A game of cahraming eople into various things to score points
3. Tiny caramel eels used to decorate choklit pies		 "How about some cahraming?"
"That could be fun, where are my pawns?"
"Thry loonking in the caht."
calbe anything which may be tripped over "I couldn't get into the chat."
"I know. Auggie had calbe problems."
calles Cruel and heartless people who only let the telephone ring three times before hanging up. "Can you get that?"
"Hang on, it's -- oh hell, I *hate* calles."
"Probably a wrong number."
CAPSLOCLOUTIS N. mEDICAL. aN AFFLICTION OF THE KEYBOARD IN WHICH THE cAPS lOCK BUTTON IS INADVERTANTLY PRESSED CAUSING THE CAPITALIZATION OF ALL OF YOUR LETTERS TO BE REVERSED. Dear Abby. The Count burned my computer screen itno cinders while we were cahtting. Is he upset with me?
Don't worry, it's just a mild attack of CAPSLOCLOUTIS. Give him dried frog pills and lots of water.
cehcikg 1) (noun) an intricate, tricky little trask of sutff
2) (expression) you know, I don't have a clue. 		1) "Just cehcikg..."
2) "Cehcikg," the lovely lady said and shrugged.
celibrate, celibration Partying for monks. "Hey guys, the grumpy old Abbot's dead! Let's celibrate!"
"SSSH!"
champange military strategy which involves throwing bottles of champagne at the enemy to knock them out. "How goes the champange, general Hildebrandsen?"
"Excellent, mylord! They have already started singing suggestive songs about balrogs' appendages."
chect derivation of 'check-mate'; a special situation in an agruement where the debate reaches the Balrog level and 'locks' "Chect! You're both stubborn mules, this can't go on!"
"The discussion was chect when Laurie put a dead penguin on the table, claiming it to be a balrog."
chefren egyptian teunce, in one of those neat en-profil lines of eople "Teunce like an Egyptian! Chefren along!"
(n.) It was while attempting an impressing chefren that Sunset Dragon accidnetally knocked the Sphynx on the nose.
chi[[y mystical Rog laughing dance Me and you was dancin' the chi[[y in the bathroom that nigth!
choas 1) The muse-type thing of disorganised jumbling
2) Resembling chaos, only with more party hats and CHOKLIT 		Choas reigned at the TEUNC Moot.
CHOKLIT (noun or adjective) anything you can't live without, such as chocolate. [Note: Almost always capitalised to express the violent desire the thought of such a substance may recall] "They are increasing the dosage of my CHOKLIT heart medication."
CHOkLIT CHOKLIT that Tamf has taken a bite out of "What! There's only CHOkLIT left in the fridge."
chwisgi a spirit obtained by distillation from a mash of cereal grains saccharified by the diastase of malt: formerly applied also to a spirit obtained from potatoes, beetroot, or any starch-yielding material: a glass of such spirits. "This chwisgi is really good."
"Shaddap Öje, you're drunk."
"Aren't Scandinavians always?"
cihll 1) to kill somebody in cold blood
2) to kill somebody because they make you chilly
3) to kill somebody by poisoning them with chili 		"Curiousity cihlled the caht"
"I refuse to cihll the balrog! It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside!"
clas class where you don't care about part of it "I've got to leave the caht now, I've got school tomorrow."
"Oh come on, it can't be that important!"
"No, it's just a clas."
clikc ill-fated pushing of a button "No, don't clikc the red button! Don't clikc, don't clik...argh!"
cnurrë to growl in a scholarly manner Cave draconum cnurrens (beware of the cnurring drak).
commants an order of monks of which every member is in a comatose condition, seldom leaving it to yell out a message he/she got from a deity "Eru told me to kill your cow!"
"You're no commant! I'm suing you!"
commants an order of monks of which every member is in a comatose condition, seldom leaving it to yell out a message he/she got from a deity "Eru told me to kill your cow!"
"You're no commant! I'm suing you!"
confidentail something that makes you confident, but has a rat's tail of ugly consequences "Giving Umaruk your bank account number is confidentail"
confuxxle 1.what is done to whoever dares try to fux a balrog.
2.land soemone in bed with the rong person.
4.what is doen to you if you try to con a balrog out of a deal and fail.		 2. Ewoyn was confuxxled to find herelf in bed with Arwen instead of Aragorn.
4. Rogduck was confuxxed [sic!] when he tried to steal the Count's mlorat sandwich.
confuzzle to mix things up in a fuzzy manner, as when vigorously shaking a box of *sparklies* "You're confuzzling TEUNC with some nornal place."
Coratain drug that makes eople put weird hooks on their letters "Help! Mia's been ODing on the Coratain again! And this time, she means business!"
corrput (verb; corrputting, to corrput) the squirrels attacking and devouring lonely wanderers when no observer sees what the "cute" little animals are up to TEUNC will corrput the RPG GM's if they don't start acting soon...
coudcud, as chewed by snobbish cows"I would if I coud," Tamf said and stared hard at the sun.
coyple Usenet term used to describe sly psotters ('coyotes') that work in pairs "You know MM?"
"Yes, that's a real coyple."
curse expressively expressing extraordinary certainty "Of curse I will be at the chat on Sunday!"
cuttutting scolding a snitch while slitting his throat <closest I've seen Öjevind come to a cuttutting remark>
cybperspace the place *between* all the netsites, where you spend all your waiting time and failed connection. It is where the 404s come from. "So, did Zorag make it to the caht?"
"No, cybperspace swallowed him."
cynod a convention of cyber-bishops "The Night Pope isn't in caht today?"
"Nay, he said he had a cynod to attend. Personally, I think he's nodding."
cztually with Slavic precision Cztually, Slovaks are hobbits.
word deinition example
d ligent "I'm so d ligent you couldn't steal a silm... Hey, what's this hole doing in my crown?!"
damgrbullshmuckit (expletive) the culmination of an exchange during which you've publicly acted like a complete loser and will spend the rest of the week apologizing via e-mail "Öje, I still believe Achilles was a great hero. Can you explain one more time why you don't?"
"Oh, damgrbullshmuckit!"
dawg (noun) one of the subspecies of the PET life-form, esp. a very slow and lazy one "Tsh, tsh, you're sleeping longer than my dawg!"
decisipons Bridge guarded by a mean, nasty troll and/or dragon. Think twice before crossing."Oi! Dis be a decisipons, OK? Pay sevuhn flokarinoz or be klubbed to deff."
Dragonk alternative: "None shall pass! I guard this decisipons with my fiery breath. What's that you got? CHOKLIT? Gimme!" *bouncebouncebounceaaaaiiiiiii* [things of slime and subsequent death & rebirth are optional]
dedpartment part of the bureaucracy of Hades The dedpartment of gizzard-eating buzzards is experiencing budget cuts.
deead Frantically posting messages and watching in horror as none of them get through. "Pag is back from the deead! For now, anyway..."
deine (verb) to do communal work for TEUNC They deined two CHOKLIT cakes and several cups of coffee while updating the teunctionary.
deliciosly The way a dish looks after it has been forcibly dipped itno various good struffs such as CHOKLIT or red wine. "Babe the Pig smiled deliciosly at the apple that was approaching its snout."
desoise hating someone, but keeping it well hid "Laurie seems to be quite fond of Bill Gates."
"Believe me, she really desoises him."
develolping (verb) to be convulsed with laughter whilst concocting Teunctionary entries Hee-hee-hee, haw-haw <wipes eyes> Ha-ha-ha. Hooo-boy! <snicker> Bwaaahhhaaahhhaaa <sigh>
dgraain grain used to make dragonbread. Must be harvested by moonlight and treated at very high temperatures in order to become edible. "Waiter, there's a dgraain in my soup!"
"I'm so sorry. The stove isn't supposed to eat at work."
di pronounced like the French 'du' or German 'dü'; to do, or treat one, in a shodowly, trasky manner "MM dis newbies and everyone else at AFT"
didint the sound of a thought teuncing from one side of the head to another "I didint think balrogs would need slippers if their wings were already pink and fuzzy..."
diector A cross between a director and a dictator Peter Jackson is the diector of the Lord of the Rings movies
diedn't 1.So certainly didn't that one would stake one's life on it.
2.Probabubbly didn't but fedinately didn't die while doing so in naz case. 		I diedn't psot to a plotical thread in AFT, and that's a faqt.
diene (v.) to serve badly; (n.) a bad turn "Your lame humour dienes you badly"
"What a diene!"
diffewrmibnts Almost but not quite entirely unlike. 'qat' is diffewrmibnts from 'caht.'
dipute technically a disagreement, but the outcome is not even a tiny bit uncertain. "O'Neill's gone back to alt.flame. He likes the diputes."
"Whose turn is it to file the health insurance claims?"
discusting To talk about something that is gross. "We were discusting Adam's sick story."
"Which one of them?"
dknot 1) de-knot, to negate a negation
(2) do-knot, to affirm a negation		 (1) "Do you knot liek blarongs?" "I dknot."
(2) "Do you knot liek blarongs?" "I dknot."
dlophin (noun) tasty ichtys species, but difficult to handle while alive because of constantly slipping out of one's hands and making acrobatic loops "What are we having for dinner, dear?"
"WHOAH! CATCH! Oops I'm sorry dearest, why don't you go, er, wash your hair and then we can go out for dinner?"
dowb a discustable kind of creature seen all too often in newsgroups nowadays. very plonkable. "It isn't a flamer, it isn't a troll, and it can't be a newbie after two years online... I think we're dealing with a dowb."
dragonk To drag something behind you so that it bumps. Christopher Robin dragonked Winne-the-Pooh down all the stairs.
drkinging Drinking to please oneself Arky was so upset he spent the whole night drkinging to try cheer himself up
duaghters identical female offspring "What beautiful little twin girls!"
"Yes, they are my duaghters."
durch (noun) the offical language of the people of the Neitherlands "What language was Sjees speaking?"
"I believe it was Durch."
durty (adj.) similar to dirty, but worse. Esp. in ref. to commies, esp. Arkady. Arkady is a <red>durty <red>commie.
word deinition example
e Viol "My tail is tickling, I think I'm becoming eViol again."
"Well, send it to egroups and let them have a look at it first."
eWHIP ? it was deined by ONQ in a caht, but I don't remember what it was.... [Morwen] we porbably don't want to know! [TCG]
eading 1) consuming literature and food at the same time 2) comitting blasphemy towards the almighty Tolkien "Why the fsck is there peanut butter over the description of the balrog in Moria? Have you been eading?"
ealk swedish water animal, famous for its fabulous horns and 'moosey' mating calls "Pass me some of that smoked ealk, will you? Oh, and a bottle of chwisgi too, please."
eelction a mysteriosu plotical process engaged in by eels. It apparently involves some kind of sauce. I don't think I want to know. "Where's Öje?"
"Umm, I think he's busy preparing an eelction or something."
ecplain the basic substance of barrow-wights and other wraiths "Oh Tom, thank you for scaring away that creepy old meanie! But what's that pool on the floor?"
"Do not worry, have no fear, ecplain soon will disappear! Hey ding a dillo, I'm an armadillo!"
ehre Neither here nor there. "Can't you see the Balrog's wings? Ehre they are!"
elave making someone's brunty thoughts vanish by treating them with lye "HÄÄÄÄÄlP!"
"Having elaved Theso thoroughly, they wetn away, nirging lively."
elctorinc pink fuzzy elks that flicker during thunderstorms "Hey! I thought i was going to run into that beast, but it just disappeared!"
"It must have been an elctorinc."
emial 1; a scurrilous message in some exotic language; 2; (analogous to smial) a tunnel dug through cybperspace, mainly used for communication purposes "I'll deine him for you in an emial. It's sikrit."
emtnion mention something vacantly "So, you've read the e-text?" he said with emtnion.
enertaining describing an activity which is not only fun, but energizing as well "I'm wired for hours after a caht. They are so enertaining!"
"Maybe it's the coffee."
enxt an ent of the cactus variety "And that, El-Saaruh, will teach you not to mess with enxts another time!"
eople pint-sized midgets "Have you heard they're hiring in a dozen eople to play hobbits in the LOTR movie? They're going to magnify them with CGI."
ereply to threaten electronically Laurie ereplied that Auggie is going to die if he w*nks again
errort retort to faulty tyopegraphy to make a p9int. I certainly cant say I've necver made a tyographical errort either.
erucation 1) training in belching 2) someone learned in the theology of Arda "There she goes again with that smug nirg on her face. All acos of a little erucation!"
esle part of a village church wooden podium, covered with yoke in certain villages in the Alpes "MM's wedding was byootiful, I read it in AFT."
"So he says! I was there, he slipped on the yoke and slid all the way down the esle, ending up under my granny's dress!"
everthink (verb) indicating an intense amount of concentration "Ali, what name will you use in the chat today?"
"Oh, woe is me. I've been everthinking all day, and still haven't got a clever one. I know: 'Guest'! Whaddya think? OK, how about 'Logonby'?"
eviolin, eViolin (noun) an instrument which is very hard to play, but whose strong magical forces can cause much evilness Paganini attempted to play 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' on the Eviolin, but the trasking instrument twisted his fingers into ungainly knots.
excactly so accurate it stings "So you're saying the things behind the balrog were actually big cacti?"
"Excactly! Ouch!"
exiszted lived in Poland "Karol Wojtyla exiszted in Poland."
"Get to the point, man! Did he have wings?"
expanid to make something bigger by trasking it from inside "the teunctionary shurly expanided the horizons of my little lellow brain!"
"I'm sure the CHOKLIT you ate helped a bit, as well."
eys elvish expletive  "Eys! The balrog farted!"
word deinition example
f rog "Is that a f rog trasking a hamster? Will you let that poor thing go, you eViol... Oh no, it's deaad."
faminine word used to describe female models or other women who are one meal away from anorexia nervosa "You can never be too thin."
"Yes, it makes you look very faminine."
feelt (verb) to experience intensely, often under influence of opiats or other drugs "Oooo, your aura is emiting some shodow vibe! I feelt it!" "OW, ow, you stepped on my foot, I feelt it badly!"
feresh to add interesting colours to "Here, Auggie, let me feresh your face"
fgucking (kiwi slang) invisible, often used when referring to plants. "Where are those fgucking tomatoes? I want my fgucking tomato rice!"
firweork (arch: firwe-orc) A small, spectacularly pyrotechnic orc "I have let off some firwe-orcs on the lawn outside."
fista a feast with a lot of fisticuffs "I see you have a blue eye from the fista"
fled (n.): a portable dwelling drawn by members of the Fingolfin crossing the Helcaraxe Turgon whipped the serving boys of the House of the Wilted Daffodil, shouting 'mush' as they dashed forward with his elf-drawn FLED in tow.
flokarinos, flokarini Small, cute golden coins. "The firwe-orcs cost 20 flokarinos a head."
floks (noun - collective) people who congregate outside a chatroom trying to get in; so termed because of behavior similar to seagulls around a french fry "The frigging server would only connect two people."
"I know. The other floks have gone to eGroups."
fluffly (Adv.) (1) in a manner exhibiting the characteristics of fluff, i.e. being soft tothe touch, getting caught between toes and in belly buttons; (2) in a manner similar to Fluffy the Monster Monkey. (3) characteristic of being restored to fluffiness cf. bursting into flame anew fater plunging into ice-cold water
(N.) The rare fluffy Amazonas fly. Known to cause demonic dreams. Main food for the equally rare fluffrog. 		Tante Flossie turned to face Gandalf and kicked at him fluffly.
The fluffly sat still, waiting for its flavourite prey: The slippered Balrog.
fod (1) A hurried snack; (2) The Supreme Being of hurried snacks "I have time for a packet of crisps! Thank fod for that!"
frdringking pertroflmao Dying in a humourous manner "You can say a lot about trolls, but at least they're good at frdringking pertroflmao."
frdringking pertrlol Risjing severe physical harm in order to make others laugh "What is Suss doing in that handbasket?"
"He's back to frdringking pertrlol again, I suppose."
Frimbear (name) a legendary Tasmanian monster rumoured to have been witnessed wearing a tartan scarf, a stick and an, up to this date, unidentified fruit. "Bwah, Mom, everyone knows Frimbear won't bury me in the snow if I don't behave!"
"You look like a Frimbear! What hair stylist did that to you?"
frinstane example to illustrate an insane point "Well, we have the pyramids, frinstane..."
froup (noun) an assembly of very frivolous, French-inspired cahtters. "I read your letter and froup."
frtnae (adj) fortunate, irish shortening developped acos of their abundance of leprechauns and so on. "Whoa, Onqie hasn't been here yet! How frtnae we are."
"Don't pass a wind now."
fsat interrupted hurrying "not so fsat! wher are you going with those wings?"
fscking This is *the* disguised word. Is it a nice word? Is it a swearword? Or is it just Croatian? "You look fscking great!"
fuid [self-explanatory] "ooh yeah, I should make a fuid to where to find fun old psotted TEUNC happenings"
furmiture fashion accessories for which a use has been found... "Well, they're supposed ot be a fashion accessory, iMacs. so presumeably it's only a short step from there to them becoming furmiture..."
fututre a difficult situation with no xet outcome "What is the fututre for the balrog slipper discussion?"
word deinition example
g raffe "Don't you dare proposing to the giraffe, it has had enough poblems, wat with balrogs falling from the sky and everything."
genral (noun) a person who once held a responsible position but then blew it "I'm telling you, that Louis MCXC is heading towards doing a genral!"
gewtting Teunc ritual, involving sharp (or not) athames. "I'm just gewtting to know Arkady..."
giess having to guess something that you would really want to know wright away, and have no clue how to get wright either "Rong! Try again!"
"Oh come on, how can I possibly giess the colour of your grandmother's fluffy bedroom slippers?"
gninnirg (noun) a particularly devious kind of nirg "So what if the balrog had dyed its slippers? Huh?" *gninnirg*
goimn A state of flux between comin' and goin' "I tried to get into het caht tonight but I didn't know if I was goimn"
goodnught expression, often said with a yawn, at the end of a chat where at least one participant has entered the dark world of AM "goodnught!"
"goodnught to you too!"
"well, i really should be going. goodnught!"
"byebye. goodnught."
"okay, i mean it, i'm leaving. goodnught!"
"goodnught!"
"goodnught!"
googlin' Using Proxomitron without due care. "What swimming eyes you have, St Dlanod! You've been googlin' again, haven't you!"
gorund 1.(noun) ground that has been mucked up by a weird verb form.
2.(adj.) grammatically mucked up; said of coffee.		 He hit the gorund and took a deep sip.
gret celtic term for above-standard "Hoots, mon, 'twas really gret!"
grink 1) The not-so-nasty monster who stole Christmas so the kids wouldn't need fillings from all the sweet food.
2)the exact opposite of trask		 "Be a grink now and give me some CHOKLIT."
"Sun, TEUNC and CHOKLIT really grinks me."
"When I came to look at his wounds, I found that they had grunk."
gte (irr. verb; gte - gto - gttoen) to obtain by use of trasking "Oh stop whining, i'll gte you a pet nazgûl..."
guggle make disgusting noises while trying not to loff Everyone in the computer center stares at the Count as he guggled at the struff being perpetrated in the Caht of the Repeats.
gurl a guru wannabe chick "You know, Tamf, I've seen this documentary on Sai Theso and I've found my path."
"Oh no, another gurl!"
word deinition example
h rine The balrog tossed a mithril itno the h rine, but despite its desperate prayers, did not grow wings. Luckily for him, Gandalf only rolled a 1.
had official headdress of someone who has a very silly head. "I am not insane!" Wouter cried and twitched his had.
hadle the ladle used to stir, while making pink lutefizz; when it dissolves you know the lutefizz is ready "This pink lutefizz doesn't taste quite right"
"Yes, I'm sorry; I couldn't find a mithril hadle, I had to use a gold one"
hand granades handheld apples that explode on impact "Look, a troll! Kvick, give me the hand granades!"
hanf hand that is held hostage by a cuddly caht-creature "Oh no! The balrog has my hanf!"
happnes those little, joyful moments, when everything just feels like an elvish party "It just happnes."
hattifattening fattering; flattering with CHOKLIT "Why is Tamf so happy?"
"Somebody must have been hattifattening her."
Hava Nagilas (med.) strange disease which makes the sufferer napster as many versions of one particular song as they can find. Once infected, the victim can but lean back and yield to the disease, as there is no known cure. A coyple of high-quality loudspeakers may offer temporary relief. "Where's Morwen? She's been awfully kviet lately."
"Oh, she's dwon with the Hava Negilas."
hee-owge larger than is feasibly, or probably legally, possible. "That is one hee-owge pair of pink fluffy slippers, mr balrog."
heistate to be all hot and excited with fury; to have one's blood pressure go skywards "That MM! I'll go all crazy because of him... look at me! I'm heistating!"; "She heistates like a mad woman when somebody touches her books."
hell! greeting used by people in a hurry "Hell, everyone! I'm just passing by..."
herelf word of praise for elves of high esteem "She is really herelf today!"
heuge (noun) instrument for measuring the level of TEUNCness on a person I'm afraid we'll have to use the heuge on him.
hewsgroup a group that hews to the party line "Do we hew to Prembone?"
"No, it's not her hewsgroup."
hihg unwanted introduction  "I'm an unflamed provoker, and I just wanted to say hihg*! Ouww..."
hilariopus A humorous work "I see that Öjevind has written another hilariopus."
hima fam. for 'Himalaya'; used to show that one moves in 'high places' and is good with showbiz and other famous people; can also be used in negative conotation (bragging) "Have I heard of KEANU? He's a hima to me!"; "Look at her, thinking she's all hip 'n hima!"
hisory TEUNC history "Yea, our hisory is glorious!"
"Oh, shodow!"
HJeerer more mockingly present "That's netiehr HJeerer nor therer."
hjere not excactly *here*, more like over hjere, because being *here* makes you meet a death with sharp pointy teeth (or maybe a balrog who doesn't 'get' the thing about wings) "Hjere, boy! Hjere! Now be a nice balrog, and I shall give you a wizard!"
ho a confusing mixture of 'who' and 'how', meaning neither "Ho are you?"
hoopes Scandinavian wishes "I have high hoopes that the caht will be fun."
"Më tôø!"
hurst to engage a shallow brain in so hard thoughts that it "My head hurst. I should never have had that third pink lutefizz. Especially not while cahtting."
Huvudvrk A very evil demon that tries to split your head by trying to make you believe everything MM says, for example. "I had a splitting Huvudvrk this morning. It tried to convince me that Thrain XI was the one that really found the Arkenstone."
word deinition example
i c As their agruement dwindled down, she gave him an i c smile and started sharpening her athame.
i il,ar bearing a spotty, disjointed resemblance In its worst moments, TEUNC is i il,ar to RL.
iform tell something serious in a casual way "I would just like to iform you that i and my KIWI are getting married. Sorry to spoil your fruit salad."
ight Claimed to be right, but actually wrong. He is ight as usual.
ignotrance The blissful stupor of those who do not know anything. Saying that the bush spoke to Moses on Mount Doom is sheer ignotrance.
imple One of the many umnetrical measuring units. 1 imple = the stretch from where the sun rises to where it sets. "We will meet and teunce even if we have to travel a hundred imples!"
incosistent when someone insists that they have not had too much to drink, but everyone else knows better "Wporkers of the world untie!"
"Arkady, you are completely incosistent tonight."
inpatient someone waiting for healing treatment, the result of a big fight "Ioreth, quit babbling! Eople are getting inpatient!"
instakk Shelve something in the unlikely event that you may need it again. Adam instakked his old Math books, and smied.
interlectual a confuzzling state for thoughts to be in, trying to move from one mind to another. see agruement "If you do more of that interlectual sutff to me, I'll trask you with my balrog slipper!"
intersting To cause pain to several eople at a time. Adam interstung them with his flamethrower.
introdcue presenting someone or something at jsut the wright moment Just when they thought all hope was lost, Steuard Jensen was introdcued to the quarreling group.
itno to throw (or place in) into a very deep and dark pit "M$ should be itnoed in Dante's Inferno"
word deinition example
j l "Don't send me to j l! All I said was balrogs are quite interesting beings, acos of their dual winged/non-winged... ack!""
joice a juice-flavoured joint  "I never expected to see a nice girl like you with a joice like this."
"I always get high on joice."
joinging to turn many small units into one larger with the help of GLUE "What's Tamf doing to that poor newbie?"
"Joinging him to the caht."
jus tlike tropical juice from the rare tlike berries, it is rainbow coloured and *sparkly* "Some more jus tlike, ma'am?"
"Well, why on middle earth knot!"
word deinition example
k o "Splitting up the Teunctionary is k o with me!"
kentucky /kentaki/: from the ancient finnish word kentuuki, 'one which is used to wipe the nose by the means of feet' (compare 'hantuuki', a small handkerchief); from 'kenkä' -shoe- and 'tuuki', second person singular of 'tuukia' -to stuff something up something with moder 'the hermit sniffed conspicuously, and proceeded to kentucky in a trasky manner which greatly upset the ladies'.
kinght a person-at-arms who is hoping to one day better himself and become - dare I say it? - royalty He is my kinght, but only until dawn.
kiwi [1] (noun) Scientific name for Balrogs [2] (noun) a 'thang' (see thang) of virtually omnipotent TEUNCers [3] (noun) Small, New Zealand native bird. KIWI is always written in caps when refered to. Everyone knows that Balrogs are in fact KIWIS so they had wings but were unable to fly.
kleft (adjective) a direction opposite of kright "Of the people in our group, I think Arkady leans more to the kleft."
"You've got THAT kright!"
klong (adjective) a direction opposite of kright [1] A giant Thai ape who joins the Ku Klux Klan [2] The sound made when you hit helmeted erson with a staff
knwoing the sound of terminal prembonitis "Knwoing!"
"Oh, poor dear. I guess she just stretched her wings too far..."
kvick witty "You think you are kvick, do you?"
kvickhead a witty person We don't like kvickheads in TEUNC.
word deinition example
l ephant "Everybody knows l ephants are just mythical creatures."
"TarAaaaaa!"
laggign temporary disturbance of space and time which can cause great amusement at a caht "Laurie, you're laggign."
"Am I laggign now?"
lagginc similar to laggign but stronger "Am I lagginc?" <three days later> "No you are not."
laug draconic laughter, laced with gold, scales, and irony Tamf looked at the Smaug trap, and lauged.
lellow Bright, sunny, colourful, shiny, sparkly, and usually full of CHOLIT "Tamf is a lellow dragon."
"I'd never noticed...."
leve pretending to hand over something to someone else "I leve you in charge of the caht. Here, take this Ring."
ll sound made by someone who is by some reason unable to utter naything more sensible He looked at his article proving the winglessness of balrogs. He looked at the winged balrog before him. "Ll," he said.
lllama A mute, woolly buddhist. "Who's this dalai@india.net I see in the member list?"
"Just some lllama."
loe to be loe = to have a generally bad day and deal with it by wrapping oneself in blankets, listening to the rain and reading or something "I rang Laurie yesterday, but she was loe and didn't feel like going to the cinema with us." ; "I dunno... when I'm loe, it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside."
loff to laugh grudgingly between closed lips IOL - "I Om Loffing"
LOLO-LOLO an obscure eople in South China, infamous for their high-pitched, shrieking laugh "Look out! A lolling LOLO!"
lpol hilarious plotical joke That one about Bush and the giant CHOKLIT kangaroo is a lpol!
lteters obscene or frightening letters "No French lteters, please!"
lurve indicating strong emotion of the most positive kind "Can you feel the lurve in the caht tongiht?" "Gosh, I thought that was just Magenta coming in without showering."
lutefiss a faded, tame version of pink lutefizz, found in bottoms of glasses after grand parties with strange, leafy shapes in them "Yuack! This tasted like lutefiss!"
löänge 1. Finnish word for ears
2. Finnish word meaning 'long and pointed'
4. Suitable as pig fodder		 "Your agruements are always very löänge."
word deinition example
m &m "Nooo, don't trask me with m&ms! AAAAARGH!"
m.shumaschers what little orc-children get fed when they've been naughty, or when they want to have fun (same thing). It's a slimy, yucky substance, a bit like jellyfish only more tasteless. Horrible sutff. "Why, Mary Shag and Bobby Ska! For letting those hobbits get away, I'll give you both a healthy portion of m.shumaschers 'round the ears!"
ma (verb form, usually used in 'I MA') - acknowledging one's existence in a way that tells people the MA is a self-conscious divinity with an attitude. Also, and not less important, the divinity's Mom "I ma!" the voice thundered over Typo City.
magmanimous Generous in dealing ount lava, whteher as a drink or as an aid to bathing. Remember the toga party in 79? That old Vulcan sure was a magmanimous deity!
mamber a person skilled in dancing mambo or playing mambo music "Her boyfriend is one devil of a mamber!"
"Did you know he was also in Flatley's group?"
mamorize to purchase intimate undergarments knowledgably "How can you do all your Christmas shopping at Victoria's Secret?"
"I mamorized everyone's sizes."
manulas help guide in Spanish I could get mIRC to work, so I decided to read the manulas.
maplefat (noun) an updated name for northern north-americans suddenly a burst of maplefats fell through the ceiling. 'canadians?' he said, 'at this time of the year?'
mathmeticians group of people who think maths is fun in itself, and like 'e' a lot "The number of mathmeticians derived from the sky, and smote the mountainside in their ruin."
meail when your messages are eaten by Tamf "I wonder if Mia is still reading our caht, or if she's busy with the meail."
meas (short n simple for 'meat and peas'; also used as 'lunch' or 'meal' in general "Mmmmmm! Nobody makes meas like my grandmother's next-door neighbour's daughter's fiance!"
mekistakor a furry little bugger The mekistakor has trasked all the firwe-orcs
memember when you are able to recall the names of everyone in your club or group "I can recite a list of everyone in TEUNC."
"How can you memember them all?"
"It's a gift."
misapprenesion (noun, also verb, to misapprene) to get a *totally* wrong idea about something, to be fatally wrong "Oh you just misapprened them by watching too many movies, in Real Life they're small, grey and benevolent, they just want to save our planet from... ew, what's this slime that just dripped on my head?"
mitators persons who try to act just like somebody else without being too obvious, but fail at both "Have you seen Suzie's latest mitators over in AFT?"<
"Yes, it's a sad sight."
Mithril Nazwaz brand of ice cream extremely popular amongst the Balrogs of Moria "Why did the balrog fall?"
"He spotted a chicken running away with the last supply of Mithril Nazwaz"
MM (Linne: micromycetus metretricius) AKA Morgoth-in-our-Midst. Shodow BG, *this* is True Evil. "If you don't eat your asparagus, MM will come and read Tolkien to you!"
"Oh, no!!!"
mo-jo Life essence of virtually omnipotent TEUNCers. Can be transferred in small amounts onto others in order to transform them into retro superhero types. When transferred, mo-jo can be stolen by time traveling bald mad scientists. Also mojo. He stole my mo-jo. My mo-jo is bigger than yours.
Mobil a hairy long-armed half-orc, half hobbit kind of creature that carres a BIGG NIFE. "How do you pronounce Mobil around your parts?"
"Something like 'HÄLP!!!'"
moblie TEUNC for untruthful "Look, MM is behind you!"
"Stop being so moblie!"
morgning so early in the morning that it feels as if it is in Morgil's time zone "Good morgning! Did you sleep well?"
"Ywan... No, not really. I wonder how Morgil must feel..."
mosey to transport one's self slowly from one nice place to another "I'll just mosey down the street to the White Horse, ok?"
mosqi toe derogatory term for hobbit "Stop stepping on my mosqi toe!"
mubbling Mumbling while in a boiling cauldron -or- bubbles caused by the resident of a cauldron "Dlanod, stop mubbling!" "Bubbubl I mlike it hereub!"
musj The dirty brownish slurry that is left when pure white snow is mixed with Real Life (TM) The small boy was hit by a musjball and had to be rushed to hospital for detoxification.
musleave faminine breakfast cereal among the old vikings and celts. Consists of moss and leaves "Have some musleave before you go."
"No, I must... musleave, you said?"
Musse Pigg a noa name for mekistakor "Leave Musse Pigg's tail alone!"
"I just had to make sure it wasn't made of cheese."
word deinition example
n d "All things come to an n d."
"No, they don't."
"Yes they do."
"NO, they don't!!"
"Okay, agruements with you never do."
nata lchart A very peaceful, athame-less Aztec ceremony celebrating our inner Hobbit."Are you coming to the caht, Mia?"
"Dunno, I have to do my nata lchart first. Maybe after pumpkin."
natice so nice that one has to be a tourist "Ooh, I say! Those pink fluffy slippers are relalay pretty!"
"You're a natice, aren't you?"
naturatlist one who regards, draws and writes dwon the bare beauty of Nature. "Arky is a naturatlist, you know."
"Whoreally? He seemed like such a decent young man."
naymore something which has been put an end to for ever and ever... hopefully. "Rejoice! We shall flame eachother naymore!"
necver never below the neck and up. "I could necver have borne that scarf."
Nermione Muse of Total Indifference "So, what about that nymph you fancied?"
"Oh, Nermione."
nert a nerd in training He's such a nerd.
No he's not, he's only a nert!
Neslon mode artificial, one-eyed, man-made state of being; somewhat akin to "Teflon mode" "Auggie has switched into Neslon mode again."
"Jesus! Don't get any water on him!"
neve an ann=-ying actor/actress, in honour of Neve Campbell "Mary wants to be an actress."
"I hope not! I've seen her in an amateur play... what a neve!"
nicvely adding a nirg to a seemingly nice act "No MOM, you aren't lagging at all," she said nicvely.
nigt a person of not-so-high stature in the feudal system, lacking one or more vital appendages (arms, legs, wings...) "It's only a flesh wound!"
"Face it, nigt, you've lost."
Nikc a confuzzled, ersatz Hungarian nikcname "This Nikc is registered. Lpease tyope your password."
"Én szeretek Paul Shenton"
***SYSTEM FAILURE***
nirg (verb or noun) a grin with some thought, and gleaming teeth, behind it She nirged widely at the winged creature that claimed to be a balrog.
Nirgytsan Central Asian land whose eople are renowned for their sarcastic wit "Where's the softrat?"
"He was finally expelled to Nirgytsan."
nkto the opposite of knot is knot!
is nkto!
is knot!
is nkto!
is knot!!
is nkto!!! etc...
nmae an anagram of 'name'; used by shy people to hit on others without being too obvious "Hi! Waht is your nmae?"
"Get lost!"
noboy A more detailed, masculinized form of 'nobody'. Probable feminized form 'nogirl' not reported. 'Let's hope noboy will read Bible!'
noe (adverb) less specific than 'now', less vague than 'xet'; used to procrastinate I'll post pictures of myself noe.
noglet the offspring of one-year-old eggnog "What is this for noglet, my drak?"
"Um, I'll clean my fridge right away."
noqup Not quite, after the Ancient Egyptian god of leaking boats and well-fed crocodiles. "TEUNC is a fangroup to MM, isn't it?" "Noqup."
not-rope A piece of metaphysical equipment carried by Samwise Gamgee. A physical and psychological lack of rope. 'I can climb no cliffs with my not-rope.'
notcieable something that is invisible "The wings of the balrog were notcieable"
nothgin an alcoholic beverage divided by zero "Trask, I feel 'orrible"
"You get upset by nothgin."
notred (adj.) Observed with caution or alarm The approaching werewolves are notred. Your belief in b****g w***s is notred.
nstead an undesirable elsewhere "Why don't we leave nstead?"
nunsure Unable to make up one's mind whether to enter the convent or knot "So how did Arky react to our suggestion?"
"Well, he seemed nunsure."
word deinition example
o pen "Teunc is an o pen group for anytroll to join."
"AS IF!"
ocas not because of "That's ocas of his intelligence."
odreder 1.order of dredels; 2.more odred; 3.one who odreds. (Trust me, you do *xxxot* want to know what odred means.)
offical likely the most reliable source or the true version, but might not be "This is the offical TEUNC dictionary."
og an enygma "Öje, if those are not wings on that Balrog, what the Frimbear are they?"
"It's a complete og to me, but if we don't get out now, we'll be og to some future archaeologist!"
ogranize to turn a hobbit or other harmless being into an ogre. "Varnast said he would ogranize a really good RPG for Tamf at the moot."
oike to start every comment or complaint in an annoying manner ('Oi!' or any other exclamation reminiscent of a pig's squeak); also, oiker (noun), one who oikes. "Eeek, that's my new dress!"
"Oh, stop oiking!"
omnipotense (adjective) stiff like a log all over, often caused by terror, shock, or a too long period of exposure to evil computer rays. "I've just read a whole post from MM which argues the absolute truth that balrogs were bearded. I must be omnipotense!"
oo 1.equally disgusting;2.disgustingly 1. "I'm gagging oo!"
2."That cahpter is way oo long."
oobscene an uncomfortable scene that you accidentally happen to witness "You look paler than Gollum! What ahppened?""
"I just saw an oobscene between MM and Suzie."
ood of doubtful quality He trasked some ood sutff to me.
oour the scariest part of the night is *not* midnight, as someone seems to believe, but the time around 4 a.m. CET when the cahts just seem to get more and more surreal "It's the dragon oour now..."
opne to de-op someone  "Do you know how to opne the caht?"
opoinion powerful spice that can make one cry "In my opoinion, you're a traskable fool."
"Bwaaaaa, don't put me itno the big black pot!"
opwers Abilities bestowed by the @ "Ha! I can kick you all with my super opwers -- OW!!"
ordianry a usual occurence in TEUNC, but not elsewhere "Did you too see that yellow dragon dancing polka with a kiwi?"
"Yes, that's just Tamf, being ordianry."
Orggytopia A country inhabited by sick, ravingly lustful Balrogs. "Hey, d'you feel like invading Orggytopia today?"
"No thanks, the doc said I shouldn't get too excited."
orwht Neither the metric nor the "English" system of measurements, but something combining the worst featurws of both ... "I'm about 3.52900193 wleggishrimps tall."
"You're using orwth, aren't you?"
ost (noun or verb) to contemplate posting a note "I will ost something in the Drafts folder and think about it."
oublic In the presence of others while invisible. He picked his teeth in oublic.
ouch line The part of the joke that puts the boot in. "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
.....
"I'm waiting for the ouch line."
"So am I..."
ounk An evil, flatulent species of pig from the distant East of Middle-earth. "Up against the sty, ounk!"
oy ucould Yiddish superlative "It was oy ucould in the mines... even Firweorks stayed silent, oy vey!"
oyu A sublte way to convey that you think the entity(ies) you are talking to are looney, or a sign you're hallucinating about Öjevind Did oyu hear the Balrog sing?
word deinition example
p rude "I tried to think of phunny words for this letter, but everything I came up with was too rude!"
p6int (n.) 1. A wickedly sharp protrusion; 2. (fig) an acerbic or insightful observation. (v) To gesture frantically. NOTE: Not to be confuzzled with p9int. Someone p6inted out that Captain Amoeba's flies were undone.
p9int a glass with a lot of sutff at the bottom (pronounced "pnint") "No honest I've only hade a couple of p9ints oops..."
pary (verb) to pary: what teuncers di on special occasions; an enjoyable event that can at any moment turn into a clash of various powers and superheroes "Darth Praetor is off to Castle Hare to pary with Bill Gates"
pen envy the haunting fear that someone, somewhere has a pen that is faster and inkier than yours. "So has he still got his pen envy?"
"No, he's more into Palm Pilot now."
perhgapos 1) indecisive Columbian paramilitaries 2) Egyptian god of little annoying things Perhgapos hold for ransom, perhgapos kill.
perepare (verb) to brace yourself "Are you perepared for the chat tomorrow?"
"Well, I've tried prayer and meditation. How about you?"
"I'm just going to get drunk first."
pfundgeben Three smacks on the behind with a hunting sword "You seem confused by the charming speech of the hunt. You deserve a proper pfundgeben."
phote picutre of a sote (also used ironically) "Who's this photo of? You?"
"No, it's a phote of Bill Gates."
pichure a picutre that was supposed to look really good and fab and gear, but has mysteriously turned into an out-of-focus portrait of a pikachu. "And this is a pichure of me doing a loop above Keble... that's this black shadow here. Or is this the photo I took of the wild balrog?"
picutre (noun) larger, fuzzier and cuter version of the picture That's a nice picutre you've got there.
pietry (noun) literature indicating devotion and reverence, written in a condensed, imaginative form. "I can't help but believe that our muse, our beloved Tyope, is even now beaming down her blessings upon you for this beautiful pietry."
pink lutefizz a very potent beverage made by soaking Balrog slippers in water for one week. Like pepperoni, it's delicious, but you don't want to watch it being made "I'll have two Pink Lutefizzes, please."
"I'm sorry, madam; that is a toxic dose. One is all I am permitted to serve you."
pjenguin alt.flamism for Norwegian. see weejun "Pjenguins are not related to kjiwis! Okay, maybe a little."
Plaesa Goddess of Etiquette and plaesure domes. "Plaesa, won't you let me in tongiht?"
plam 1) (abbr.) people's league against Matt 2) (verb) to dis someone considerably and with great force "He was plammed until he had the size of a hobbit and the weight of a balrog"
plonk nondescript alcohol, usually some sort of fortified wine in the language of my father and grandfather, so it's actually quite nice. /me toasts Banazir's plonk.
podner teasing someone by appearing to seriously condider doing something, but never really getting around to doing it. "HAL, stop being such a podner and open the trasked door!"
poll 1) sutff that mess up egroups 2) a swimming pool filled with old polls "Anything interesting happened at the caht today?"
"No, not much. Tamf fell into a poll..."
poperatic Redolent of psuedo-operatic pop slush. "The performance was so poperatic, I had to blink to remind myself it wasn't Andrea Bocelli or Charlotte Church singing."
pornounced when an actor's career has reached the stage where they have to go into adult films, or when an unknown wannabe acquires fame that way "My name is Zexxy Xyzzy. That's pornounced the way it's spelt."
pount expressing one's point in an agruement in a sullen, pouty fashion "Let me just pount out *why* I think everybody in TEUNC should become vegetarian, mormon vegemites..."
practoce Following the old road to knowledge of learning from one's errors, but concentrating very heavily on the error bit. "I practoced flying all day. I cihlled five sheep and a rabbit, crushed a barn, and smote two hillsides in my ruin."
preformace (noun) a dress rehearsal "Thank goodness we were able to run through 'Arwen, Warrior Babe' before the reading at the Tolkien Society!"
"Yes, it always pays to have a preformace."
prelica a statuette of what someone is going to look like, someday "That's a nice prelica, Gorebag, but why have you pictured me as a big red eye?"
pronounciation the skill of putting correct pronouns correctly into sentences "Tamf should be ashamed himself of for being so weird!"
"Korrekt thy pronounciation, mortal."
Proxomitron psycho-pshychedelic drug that constitutes the theological enthity 'The Mighty Scissors of God' "Chemical Gods are the best. Free Proxomitron for everyone who votes RLV for the gnu pope!"
pruchase the stealthy hunt of grues, which are quite a delicacy when pickled itno 'prues'. usually ahppens around yuletide. "I pruchased these jars from Mr. Sandyman, but drakness is all they seem to contain!"
Psnet 1.sent via psot; 2.the Egypitan God of Teuncing "I I jsut psnet you a parcel filled with CHOKLIT oranges, may Psnet be with it!"
psot 1) (verb) to make a kvick remark to the TEUNC list... too kvick, perhaps 2) exclamation, not really meaning anything "I just psotted my well-founded disbelief in balrog wings..."
psottilence A disease that causes too many typos. "So I heard the mail server was dwon, was it a virus?"
"Hurg, more like a psottilence."
psoitonally By way of a venomously personal psot. "Psoitonally, your psots make me want to lose my lutesziff."
Pstoggin Dwarf who inhabits TEUNC and soemtimes gobbles up its psots. Pstoggin lit a pipe and loffed adistically, before saying, "If you want these psots so badly, gi meg CHOKLITTen nu!"
ptu to place via spitting. Ptu your CHOKLIT where your money is.
puctutation (noun) making the appropriate pauses and rests in a sentence with a heavy, blunt object And this <puc> was how <puc> the puctutation <puc> <puc> <puc>
putre an overheated PC "Hey, I must stop cahtting, my putre just started boiling."
pwink 1) (verb) to wink first 2) (adj.) a fuzzy colour, made by mixing red and white with sparklies 1) "Hehe! I pwinked!" 2) "With these pwink slippers I could walk unhindered through Moria!"
pykus (noun) Long lost word in Latin/Greek language (also known as 'speaking like the Romans/Greek did') meaning 'addition'. Used in TEUNC when being official about adding stuff up. (noun) small skunk-like animal. (verb) to add stuff up 3 pykus 3 is 67. My pykus' name is Mittens.
word deinition example
q rious "You kill Frodo with the q rious key."
quality psot psot that brings something psoitive to TEUNC Th esun is shining, the sky is totally clear, the frost in the air is so crisp you can almost take a bite and chew it, and I almost skipped and danced to the shops this morning, so wonderful did it all look and feel.
qyoorgh adj.: hurghishly qyoot, or qyootly hurgh. Characterized by an excessive or misplaced sentimentality. "This green unicorn is just TOO QYOORGH!"
word deinition example
r there is no r
radiatoin Power made by rubbing two pink fluffy things together, especially balrogs or cahts. Can lead to strange affections (see 'thang'), abnormal wing growth, and heated agruements. "There's a lot of radiatoin out today."
"Oh well, better than having it rain balrogs."
raher rather, but not quite; a diplomatic way to agree with someone while privately questioning their views/likes/choices... "Yes, I think your new boyfriend is raher interesting"
rahter big, murderous rat chaser, also known as 'caht' "Everyteunc beware! It's the mad rahter!"
rapologize (verb) to rhythmically express regret for your action(s) "I am so, so sorry; yes, I am, am, am."
Raelitz Oublisher of tourist guides to RL and operator of fancy hotels with wings. Also said to have sinister connections with the Huvudvrk. "Raelitz sazs I'M NOT A BLARONG?!?>!?!?!?"
reasonablre babbling while trying to sound reasonable "I am always reasonablre! Unless you mention Tolkien, newsgroups, Europe, the US, the metric sytem, WW2, or me, of curse."
referenjce (noun) a quote with no foundation in reality "My referenjce is Tolkien's 1981 postcard to his close friend Elvis Presley, where he definitely descrives elvish ears as bell-shaped."
reguiring guiring something again "What, are you reguiring already?"
"Yes, the orcs trasked my guire."
relalay [1] used to emphasise that you really, really meant what you said [2] re-lala-y: the state you get into after you watch the same Teletubbies ep for the 28th time in a row "You relalay like that psychotic doll, don't you?"
"Stay away from my Tipsy, you eViol doll-molesting flmaer!"
repat to gently stroke with the hand for another time. "theso had to repat his sentence."
resemblkinb smiilar in a freaky kind of way "Stop resemblkinb me, Freek!"
Reunctionary A conservative TEUNCer who prefers the earlier entries. Tamf is not a Reunctionary updater
rguggle (verb) to seriously de-expanid someone "rrrrrguggglle!" was an often-used last word in Balrog Forest.
rhtyhm An insanity-inflicting mead made from socre and poisonous mushrooms "Man, you sure are gear tongiht! What's the sikrit?"
"Too much rhtyhm, too much rhtythm, rhtythm, rhtythm."
rhuggle (verb) a combination of 'rub', 'rug' and 'huggle' (a coinage by the Gorpies); to warmly welcome somebody, or dry and comfort a person who had fallen into water He happily rhuggled Lassie when she swam across the English Channel to come home.
rhuggoe a really rugged type of hug, yet not quite as strong as 'rguggle'. You survive it. Mr Flints gave Laurie a great rhuggoe, and went off itno the susnet with his axe over his shoulder.
riotflomoa something violent caused mby slepep deprivation Alatar riotflomoa at bert pog. Saruman decided to make sturdier Uruk-hai next time.
roccertion vigorous reshuffling of statements until not even the speaker knows what is true. "I wish to make a roccertion: I never said I thought Balrogs had wings. I just said they looked like ducks."
rogasm a peculiarly nasty forest fire "Fear! Fire! Foes! The dragon had a rogasm!"
rong not wright "Eating kittens is just plain rong."
rukes Rules so arbitrary, complicated, and senseless, and enforced with such mindless rigidity, thast thye make you wnat to woof your cookies "We don't have rukes in TEUNC."
"What kind of idiot decided taht??"
rwink to get struff in an eye because somebody w*nked at you first. "She rwinked at him, and together they trasked the evil OE luser."
word deinition example
s sense "What is the s sense of Teunc?"
"I should hope not!"
sagain (adjective) used with 'one' to indicate a single repeating phenomenon "It has happened one sagain: I am drunk right at chat time. I love you all."
sagger To move in a very tired, confused and unsteady way. The Balrog saggered home from the pub, wishing that it had wings and could fly home.
sama Almost, but not quite, the same "Wings or no wings, it's the sama to me."
saty to avoid at all costs "Saty away from me, you trasky little flamer!"
saugages soggy sausages caused by turning on the wrong oven Ali has gone to check his saugages
sbo son of a body odour (can be used as a verb) Laurie sbo's.
Scändînævìån lëttèrs a thinly disguised attempt to confuse issues by dressing up letters, especially vowels, like sissies so no one can read them "Yøü årê æn îðïót."
"Gosh, thanks!"
scentific If it smells nice, we'll believe it. "Your scentific mehtods stinks."
Scittish shy eople in the North of Britain The flower of the Scittish nobility was wiped ount by the cruel Tabloidal winds.
scorngully A very supercilious pet kept by people with an attitude; a person who only drinks the finest wines. The Marquis brought two scorngullies to the reception.
scpam an unsolicited emaul designed to dupe gullible eople So, watch out fro that Nigerian scpam, or yopu might end up in a jambalaya.
seeeion the struff palantirs are made of "With these high levels of seeeion, we'll soon be able to see eachother while cahtting!"
sesitive unable to speak comprehensibly, but doing so with great force. "When the discussion turns to Musse Pigg, he becomes sesitive."
shodow 1] to move listlessly back and forth whilst making small mewwing noises. 2] to untrask someone "he shodowed from the ceiling as if he were a bat", "the schoolgirls' shodowing made the teacher lose his trask."
showod to shout in an upset and shodowly manner "i do rapologize for showoding at you!"
shurg to act as if one knows everything and has everything under control "No wonder he got to be the manager, did you see how he shurgs before the boss?"
"Yeah, and he won't stop shurging even with us when we're in the cantina! Unbelievable."
sinterest An unwholesome obsession. "I find Sauron's love-life very sinteresting."
sitll an apparatus for destilling drinks out of mushrooms. "Stay away from my sitll!"
sjeesj 1) Someone who has very swiftly learned that one should not post other's e-mails in TEUNC
2) Exclamation upon finding out that one has acted like a sjeesj 		"Sjeesj! I didn't know the balrog wanted me to keep quiet about its secret supply of dwarf pr0n..."
skinging singing royal songs kinkily After they had rereinstuted the monarchys, they all started skinging.
skoler 1) An expert in a particular field; 2) A learned personage. "<name> is *not* a computer skoler: he deleted DOS!" <chortle>
slean Lean back in an extremely relaxed way. Whole nations have become extinct doing this. Tamf sleaned to listen to the melodious, trilling song of the Balrog.
slemn whut grows in smawps Theso had to clean the slemn off of his boots when he realized he wasn't wearing boots, but claws.
slidesow a sow that enjoys sliding down smooth slopes into the water. "Look at the slidesows playing down by the lake!"
sloemnly by the holy word of the Dragon (as first uttered by Sloem, a draco philosopher) Sussnet sloemnly promised not to invade Castle Hare.
slove It's when you love a game enough to stick with it and solve it. &amp;#34;I spent a whole year on the last KLOTSKI level, but i sloved it!&amp;#34;
smawps very muddy swamps Every step made an annoying 'SMAWP' as the Fellowship of the Wings trudged throguth the swamps
smie a big toothy grin of gratitude;
a very hot hobbit hole 		Bilbo smied as Gandalf removed his hat, his boots, and his big woollen cloak.
smiquoted quoted like a smeagol "It sssayssss wright here in theessse pamphletsss..."
Snipovidius The radical Roman poet and philosopher, who was frowned upon by the more conservative school of Toppsottides... For his outrageous views on snipping, Snipovidius was quite literally snipped to death in the arena.
Snoibeegronks A species now sadly extinct, as they were all captured by Morgoth and corrupted into dragons. "Snoibeegronks!"
"I love you too, sweetheart."
snork to snort in an orcish fashion, i.e., as if through a beak. "Don't tell me Öjevind is Tom Bombadil, too," he snorked. "No, he's Yavanna!"
socre the orcs' equivalent of sugar. it isn't brown, it's bblack. and it tastes like charcoal. in fact, it is charcoal. "Uglúk u bagronk sha pushdug socre-glob búbhosh skai!"
soecific (adv.) painfully pointed out "Were you thinking about anywhere soecific, Achilles?"
somg a muffled tune created by someone thrying to sing with a hand covering their mouth. "That's a wonderful somg, Freak! But why is Tamf making all those grimaces?"
sote Despicable, contemptible being often found clogging up higher education arteries. "99% of my university population are sotes."
"Only a sote would stoop so low."
spab To make fun of someone who has fallen over The Witch King is the one that spabs Frodo at Weathertop.
Everybody took turns spabbing the spammer.
sprakling The sound of 1) one whip cracking 2) one drak flapping 3) firweorcs exploding after having eaten a lot of beans The sprakling got so intense even the Balrog couldn't hear his own whip beat. The Elves cowered in terror and tied their ears into little dknots.
squrrel Small deformed word pursued by rampaging cahts. Synonymous with 'hopeless cause' "It doesn't stand a squrrel's chance in Basingstoke of working."
sstill description of movement, usually there is very little when one is 'sstill' -- only some shaking now and then "Lie sstill, pointy-ears, or I'll cut off your tongue as well!"
stela to shout for impatiently, cf. Marlon Brando "But kayway,s your caphter was very CKOHLIT nad I'm gald I didn't vige way to my impatience adn stela it..."
stiking Too sharp and pointy to be easily overlooked. "That's a very stiking remark."
stppoid something ends with a bang for obvious reason "He realised in time that the comparison between MM and hobbits was too stppoid."
struff The same us 'stuff', only more and better so. "Come on, show your struff!"
struvture the slightly askew ruling structure of TEUNC "I am the backbone of the TEUNC struvture!"
sturff organic waste of discusting smell and colour "Ick! A passing balrog just dropped a sturff on my head!"
sucj 1) lutefish witout the lye 2) a VERY secret CODENAME for Suzieflame "Let's go trask some sucj!"
suoopse yet another finnish word in the teuncabulary, means 'ahh, interesting' "Suoopse! I just deleted the whole TEUNC archive!"
superkalifrajalisticexpialidocious (adj.) something larger-than-king-sized and ever-expaniding, like a list of things To Do / To Read / To Post "This thread sure is superkalifrajalisticexpialidocious!"
suspricion a nagging idea located at a soecific area in one's body "I have such a suspricion in my tail."
sutff Inferior stuff which people in TEUNC trask or shodow immediately. "We don't accept sutff like that here!"
syrqac an array of wrods so impressively tyoped as to be near-incomprehensible. "So what do you think about Balrog Wings, sir?"
"Syrqac."
"A born diplomat! He's hired."
word deinition example
t ask some brit "That movie really has hobbits down to a t!"
tampe (verb) a nasty thing that should neither be done to Tamf, nor guinea pigs "Hey, don't tampe me! Go after that penguin instead!"
tatse vicious bugs the size of ducks who make a quacking sound -- actually, they *are* ducks. "Strider set up the camping equipment, taking extra care with the tatse nets."
teounchy Morbidly sensitive about replies to psots on TEUNC. "Getting tsarked makes me teounchy."
teuconary (noun) extremely ill-tempered talking bird; vocabulary almost entirely limited to obscenities "Pretty bird, pretty teuconary..."
"!$%#!*&@! you!"
teunce (verb) somewhat similar to bouncing, only more so, and with more extreme consequences. "They all teunced around like crazy"
Texasn (noun) a hit-man from a large southern state "Oh, no! softrat's trasked every one of the firwe-orcs again!"
"Well, elaving him didn't help. I giess it's time to hire a Texasn."
"Jesus! How many flokarinos is THAT going to cost??"
thang (noun) strong affection, fixation, fetish. Often placed between ' ' when refered to. I have a 'thang' for kiwis.
theat 1) a derogative demontrative pronoun 2) the cry of a scorngully "Theat is the traskiest thing I've ever heard!"
therories A theory, concocted by the Irish, which makes it appear that a world-renowned achievement/personality was Irish "Have you heard the therory about Marilyn Monroe really being Molly Malone?"
thiks the bush; consisting of small trees with thorny branches, extremely uncomfortable when one finds oneself in it; also used in figurative sense "I lost my KIWI in the thiks!";
"Dearie me, your son will end up in some serious thiks if he doesn't start doing some proper job."
thinkg a more specific form of struff, something one can fiddle with "I need to thinkg about this thinkg about balrogs, maybe I'll come up with a solution."
"Yeah wright."
thjerefore Teunc for "Behold! A fjord." Heard often during the Copenhagen Moot. "Thjerefore!"
"Stöpändøs, Öje!"
thrying (verb) to thry; to do your best and fail miserably "How did the test go?"
"Well, I thryed!"
tilde 1) ~
2) ancient weapon, resembling a board with a nail in it, used in the Great TEUNC War 		I will trask you with my tilde if you don't stop that!
tingiht a serious mess "I can't do this anymore Scully! That new X guy made a tingiht out of the files he's supposed to sneak to me."
toake To take in a very courteous way Lady Millfloss toaked the offered bouquet.
Toast me! 1. expwession of jollity or of twiumph; 2. cwean laternative to "bite me!", usually pweceded by "Bha,"; 3. Literal wequest to be toasted. "Toast me!"
"Do you want fries with taht?" or "It is time for all to depart who would knot be slaves!", cried Denethor. "Bha, toast me!" (all three usages)
tomgue swollennes caused by too much nonsense poetry "Nnng u nnng u ullo!"
"Rest your tomgue, Tom."
tompdo The way of the Tomp What would tompdo?
tongiht short for 21:00 CET When is teh caht?
Don't you know it's tongiht?
Toppsottides Ancient Greek sophist, known for his theories on "to borkon" and his appallinglky bad netiquette Thus writ Toppsottides: "En toi toppsottoi esti to borkon." Below it, he kvoted all of Plato's Republic. This earned him the death penalty.
traccept to tread over or above something very carefully I traccepted my dawg watching I don't wake him up.
transcrapt 1. long record of eople's chatter inscribed on poor, defenseless trees.
2. source of Teunctionary entries (arch.)		 "If you can't caht, you can always read the transcrapt afterwords."
"You've got to be kiddink."
transtate 1. to state in a very self-righteous, I-MA way;
2. to travel, or go from one place to another passing through several other countries 		MM transtated his opinions on the BW subject; I transtate Slovenia every time I go to shop in Triese.
trask (verb) to do absolutely anything, often something unpleasant (noun) that which has been trasked, or could do with a trasking "I trasked my test today." ;
"Do that again, and I'll trask you."
trasklol to trask whilst laughing out loud (LOL) Bill trasklols Pag for his excruciating puns.
trece to follow somebody by their emission of radiatoin "We have treced the balrog all the way to the mountaintop. It must now face us or die, smiting the mountainside in its ruin."
tree shirt a shirt that is shaped like a tree, thus its name "My hobbits went to Fangorn, and all I got was this lousy tree shirt!"
tripple to do something three or more times in a row I already trippled that, it won't work.
trology Tree-part (and therefore non-existent) work by that BALROG-, DRAGON-, ENT- AND ORC-HATING LIAR AND FLAMER, RJR TROLKIEN. DEEEATH TO TROLKIEN! BRUN the Trology!
tructed (verb) to truct, be tructed: get run over by a truck or squashed by other massive object in various ways and situations "Did you hear? The Ents tructed Moria and all the Dwarfs because Elves paid them for it!";
"I feel tructed!"
"Here, have an Aspirin."
trtagedy sad tale set to the museic of Tartaglia Paganini's sbobing eViolin brought the sheet trtagedy of Menelvagor's t***** to life
tsanks a way to say thanks, kinda like 'hewwooo...' "Hey Adam, tsanks for not including me in a sicko story!"
tuhuggling is when you are huggling someone tu. MM tuhuggled the newsgroup firmly.
twoel the result of exposing a towel to massive particle bombardment (lellow quarks, insignificant dragons, etc.) See also: "towel splitter" "I like a man who knows where his towels are..."
tyhtring (from Old Norse) A term used in berserk circles signifying 'something sharp and pointy' "Aie!" cried Audun
as on the tythring
his arse he trasked.
(from the high and mighty heritage of the Norse)
tyoe (verb) tyoe, tyoed - to transfer one's teuncy mindwork results into cyberspace using a plastic thing better known as 'the keyboard' and one's own fingers -> usually faster than they should be, hence the tyoeing I tyoed a very trasky letter to send him for misbehaving like he did.
Tyope 1) a word that looks like a typo, but is in fact a xet deined teuncyword.
2) the muse of typoes 		"This caht seems to be fllu of tyopes!"
Typoijhng Ancient city in China; teh first archeoliogical evidnence of worship of Tyope was found here several years ago "Il'l see xou in Typoijhng!"
Typope Tyope's servant, protector of all as yet undeined tyopes. "So theso showed up in the caht tired... may Typope have patience with us."
tönker annoying figure who thinks everything is his business "Have you met Öje's balrog uncle?"
"Yes, he's a real tönker."
word deinition example
u re "Cos baby, u're so smooth..."
umnetric an unmeasurable, but highly usable, adjective "That was rong of you!"
"I just followed my umnetrics."
uncomforable to be uncomforable = a person that just can't be pleased or a thing that can't be made comfy "My mother-in-law is just uncomforable! Jack and I have turned the house upside down for her, but no success."
unfaire action also known as the 'french undo'. "Look, don't cry, I marked the psot as read! Now it's unfaired, non?"
unmanageabel impossible to handle with one hand whilst speaking French "You lot are très unmanageabel today! Arrêtez trasking each other rayt nouveau!"
untranceable not to be hypnotised, impossible to hypnotise I am untranceable.
updet to add new words and deinitions to the Teunctionary. "It's completely updeted! Oh no, here comes a Barlog..."
uspet eith to be very agitated in a very specific way "What is the matter with you?"
"I am uspet eith my scorngully! I caught it biffing the slidesows again."
usre surely useless "Aren't you going to answer that phone?"
"Trask, no. It's porbably only another usre asking worthless kvestions."
word deinition example
v evil "Has someone been eating my psots?"
"Yes, it's those v evils actin gup again."
vermiggle green marble "Wheeeere are my vermiggles? Wheeeeeere are they?"
vhampagne A light, bubbly variety of fermented bloond, drkung on special occsions like th***s or Sauron's Birhtdaz "I need some vhampagne, doublekvick - I'm eggspeckting Shelob tonught."
voluble voluptuous and voluminous "I'm just a voluble dwagin, looking for some lost CHOKLIT..."
Volvolga a brand of automobile, new product of a joint venture between swedish Volvo and russian Volga factories. Virtually indestructible. The van of the Gondorian army was a Volvolga.
vowles the sounds produced by a TEUNC in a state of deep emotion "OOooooh, yayhoooo, you could make it to the mooooot aaaafter aaaaaalll!"
"Don't spilll alll your vowles, now."
word deinition example
w uu "If you w**-h** at me one more time, i'll w and send you to China!"
w**-h** (interjection) an inappropriate exclamation of excessive pleasure which you wouldn't want your mom to know about ~~~~~~~~~~~
w*nk (noun or verb) a conspiratorial tag or indicator of wry humor, used only by people who are begging for a trasking ;-)
wacther someone who diligently listens to what people say, then carefully points out their mistakes so they can change their ways (no, *not* a nitpicker) The Wachter turned around and said: "I appreciate your effort, but the 32nd digit of pi really isn't 9."
waist 1) (verb) to trask time and bandwidth by picking on other TEUNCs grammar or other, similarly dumb topic. Symptom of CHOKLIT withdrawal 2) (noun) mythological bodypart, rumoured to be found between upper and lower body on non-chokaholics "Quit waisting my time, skinnywaist!"
walays (noun) a lullabyish sugary type of music heard in some island hotels and such places "How was Eressea?"
"Fine, but all that harp and ukulele walays freaked the hell out of me!"
wamnt the full, satisfying feeling of having it all "I've got a glass of lutefizz, a dragonk by my side and a pair of fluffy pink bedroom slippers, what more could I possibly wamnt?"
weejun alt.flamism for Norwegian. see pengjuin "I'm a weejun, and I'm o-kay."
weepong 1) the incredulously sad sounds made by someone who just did /knot/ make a new highscore in pong
2) the cry of a scorngully 		"What's that terrible noise?"
"Oh, it's just Öje's aunt weepong."
whatver mix of English ‘whatever' and Dutch ‘godver' used instead of ‘what the f*ck'
whell (interjection) an expression by which it appears your listener is carefully considering what you're saying, when in reality s/he thinks you're a little light on the attic insulation; short for "What the Hell?????" "And then I think Celeborn should have claimed the Ring, and then the elves and dwarves could continue to live in peace and friendship."
"Whell......."
whetre an unknown, gloomy location with little teuncing or hobbits "Without a cheerful Ali, whetre would we be?"
whoreally (adverb) indicating surprise, even disbelief ... OK ... contempt "The Ring spoke on Mt. Doom."
"Whoreally??"
whosky *very* old whisky "Have some of this Laphroiag; it's special reserve whosky"
wipse to trask unwanted somethings (bugs, tears, eViol sparklies) away by propelling a suitable tool (handkerchief, master sword, tootle horn) vigorously at them. Öjevind wipsed away the pesky smurrows with a gret SNÖRFL!
wirlsk graceful, in a sense, action performed by a recent consumer of considerable amounts of chwisgi and/or pink lutefizz "He wirlsked into the wall with an impressive clang."
wirtten someone who makes deliberate typos to get an entry in the Teunctionary Don't be sych a wirtten, WYljskisrCHk!
wlaking waking someone by throwing them into a lake "There is always so much wlaking to be done after a caht!"
wll say one will, when in fact one doesn't intend to "Yes, I *wll* stop flaming everybody with the rong belief in balrog wings."
wogah (also woogah, wooooo-GAH, WO- gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, etc.)
1.(interjection) An exclamation indicating that one is really turned on sexually by soemoen or soemthing. 2.(adj.) really HOT, sexy, etc.
4.(n) sex, viewed as a pleasurable activity involving catual love (as opposed to tilde, which views sex as risqué and doesn't necessarily imply love).
5.(v) to make love, have sex (pleasurable fro both parties).
6.(n) somoemne with whom one wogahs. 7.erogenous portion of the anatomy (esp. if female).		 WOoooogAAAAAAh!
womfle-pomfy-shomf Moffa... koffa... skoffa. There is a proper place in life for hatred. Hatred of that which is wrong is a powerful and valuable tool. But when TEUNC perverts hatred in order to destroy the natural beauty of our parks and forests, it becomes clear that it would be more productive for it to womfle-pomfy-shomf!
Wors As its name implies, the very Worst wordprocessing prograsm that exists. Wors keeps changijng all my sholarly jargon into obscenties! (It's also been sending me death threats acos I won't use Times New Roman ...)
wouple (noun) an uneven or misfit couple "I always thought of Galadriel and Celeborn as an odd wouple.";
"Just a wouple of wings now, and this balrog is all set to plummet towards the ground!"
wovels a very vicious breed of vowels, which came into being after someone tried to genetically engineer weevils by crossing them with boookworms. "Oh, no; the wovels have eaten my printout of the Internet!"
wpork A dangerous, explosive kind of meat favoured by firwe-orcs "Feed them some wpork, but carefully!"
wright purrfect, fine, nice and andy "Do the wright thing - Hail Tyope!"
wroom (noun) a very fast spaceship or other flying vehicle, unescapable for a longer or shorter period of time "Oh, to travel to the moon in a wroom!"
wrtten any number pykused with 10, except for 0, 1 and (2*4), becomes a wrtten "There seems to be a wrtten of flamers in AFT now."
word deinition example
x cess "You don't think I'm psotting in x cess, do you?"
"Blub... blub..."
xan something which may happen, but will in that case most probably happen in China "Xan I have a dragon, mom?"
xet May happen, but hasn't yet "Is MM a member of TEUNC?"
"Xet"
xxot Nonononononononononono! NO! "Is MM a member of TEUNC?"
"Xxot"
xxxpics Picutres that just might be able to make you fly "I sent Adam some xxxpics, and now I hear there's a hurricane over New Mexico!?"
xaaaaaaa4ajvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv;]5 Hamster for pretty much anything. "Hey, there's Misty! She looks upset. What is it, girl?"
"xaaaaaaa4ajvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv;]5"
"What do you mean, Tamf found my Choklit? AIIIIEEEEEEEEE!"
word deinition example
y not "Y not do as I say and SHUT UP?"
yanadock An unpleasant but unlocatable tugging sensation. ""I think there's a pixie on my shoulder, I keep getting yanadocked.""
yeat 52 weels "Don't worry, kids, I'll be back in a yeat."
yiz Turkish for "you", also meaning "rahatlokum", thus able to mean both "you are like sugar to my life's kahve" and "hide the cake, the dwagin is here". "Yiz, bork bork Sacherkuchen?"
yopu 1. A small, furry kind of goblin that loves country music and rapping from inside shurbbery.
2. A failed yuppie		 The yopu kept singing 'An Orc Named Sue'.
youead (interrogative) to ascertain literary preferences "Youead Shaskepeare?"
"Who's that?"
"Someone Ali knows."
ypurself (insult) telling a person that it is more than appealingly durty "Oh Suzie, go ypurself!"
ysetredya a strong hair- and clothes dye that is now outlawed acos of its unfortunate side effects "Ohmigod, Saru, what is rong with your hair?"
"I ysetredyad it, now I am Saruman of all colours! Mwahahaha!"
yupindeedidis Interested interjection indicating total and complete agreement. Nothing further need be said - possibly forever. Similar to 'Absobloodylutelydammit' but at the other end of the alphabet. "Is this the funnest group you've ever belonged to?"
"Yupindeedidis!"
ywan indicator of extreme fatigue in the Far East. "You have been operating this server too long, Ping Toy. You should get some sleep."
"<ywan>"
word deinition example
z is dead. NO WAY!
äone A subtle, ironic insult "Sure, that piece of brass looks *just* like the äone ring!"

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