The writings of the ancient Aztecs are cryptical and puzzling to understand. They seem to have been a people extremely fond of riddles. However, recent excavations in the ancient ruin city of Techoklitlan has taught us a great deal of how the Aztecs worshipped Tyope. Inscriptions, statues and cheap rubber toys are among the rich finds that detail the way the people of this mysteropus civilization dotted their p's and q's. Although many of the actual rictuals will remain a mystery to us, the many artifacts and fragments of stories give us a clue as to how the Tyope-worship was performed, and why.

The gods associated with Tyope were the tyopectl, an unruly bunch to say the least. Like with so many other Aztec deities, the gods usually exiszted in pairs, each the opposite side of the other one's coin. However, this duality was upset a bit by the whimsicality of Tyope, and so there are coyples of one, three, and even five Aztec deities (the cult of the tyopectl denied the existence of four. Silly geese!)

Politicl was the goddess of love at a bargain, and it could be quite a bargain: Two loves for the price of one heart! She was accompanied, endorsed and accounted for by her husband Capitl, also called the pimpl.
The congregation worshipping Politicl and Capitl was small, but insistent. Their rites were centred around a hillock outside of Techoklitan, called Capitl Hill after the many miniature statues found there. The cult's connexion with Tyope is clear: The many pieces of parchment alll contain words that are completely known and understandable to the archaeologists, they simply don't make sense!

Poptatl! was a minor god in the earlier times, but gained prominence with the rising popularity of PopTarts. He was accompanied by the intimidating Oxalatlatl, demigoddess of overamorous vegetables. After a recent encounter which mostly lies tilded in shadows, Menelvagor reports that she is worse than Shelob! I had to slice off 15 of her giant leaves (lpease, Eru, let them be leaves) afore she would cease and desusst her unwanted attentions. Hurgh. Shleob appears to be associated with this coyple. An entity of ambiguous sex, it appears in many of their depictions looking filthy and upset. Shleob has become an icon to teenagers everywhere.

Aristeotl was the high-nosed god of poetry, etiquette, and donwright snobbery. He was redeemed, some say, by his consort Gentl, the delicate and friendly goddess of wuv and huggles and stwuff wike that. The couple was reborn in another form, as the highly present Spritchl, god of intoxicating drinks that made the Aztecs speak in tongues, and the unruly but often benevolent Xhoklit, goddess of sparklies. A prayer directed at her begins: O blessed Xhoklit, get thee to a punnery!

Satchl was the name of a short-statured, jovial god worshipped through the nata lchart ceremony, performed every day by devotees, often several times daily (breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, and so on). He was infrequently joined by Unpunctulalitpoca, the goddess of procrastiantion. For those who could get around to it, prayers to her went something like: O Unpunctulalitpoca, do thou grant that the profs accept my excusen!

Zappendix was a fighting god if ever there was one. Together with Rexcolt he rampaged across the country, inciting people to burn and protest. He sometimes manifested himself as Menatl, a multi-coloured serpent biting its with shadowy wings which some scholars have called "rog-like". Menatl would often whip himself and others into a frenzy, in which case seven lights seemed to be flaming from his head. While the emblem of Zappendix-Menatl is a snake biting its own tail, that of Rexcolt is a puffing bird.

Demonar was the dark, seductive accomplice of Rexcolt and Zappendix, infamous for creating love triangles and disputes in the camp of the enemy. However, she also did the same amongst her own, so it evens out in the end.

 tyopectl 

CHoklt-nklan:  aztec god of... well... ya know....
Founder of Techoklitan?  
no, founder of the haven at the bay of chokfalas, 
which is fed by the great river chokuin.

Other suspects are:

Selkcuhc
Phrasesm
Ocutbn
Antoehr
Latn
Antuarl
tplyo
Capsutl, cousin of cAPSLUT (tEH cAHT BTICH)
Her mate is knot only jealous; he's BURATL.

Contributions from the softrat, Menelvagor, tamf, and menny more!

 tyopectl 

[scholars]