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Welcome to HONG KONG TRASH CINEMA !!!  [Although this may resemble a blog it's not. And in contradiction to blogs I'd rather post new entries underneath old ones, in other words you'll have to scroll down for new entries]
Firstly: No, this has got nothing to do with neither “Asian Trash Cinema” nor “European Trash Cinema”. This is HONG KONG trash cinema! Located on the other side of the globe from where the other two mags are (or WERE since one is closed down and the other has changed its name). Oh yeah, if you think there isn’t very much here at the moment then you’re darn right. This is just the beginning, I’m just getting started and if you’ve landed on this here page then... you are not really supposed to be here yet. It'll take a while before I get everything done and get the premiere issue out. But since you’re here anyway lemme just briefly introduce you to it all, but it’ll only be brief, I gotta go cos, well, I’ve got stuff to do. LOL. Anyway, tons of years ago I published some crummy little zine called “Banned in Britain”. Well, I guess it’s still around I just don’t work very much on it and during a whole decade I only got around to publish TWO lousy, stinking issues! No kidding. Anyway, BiB was supposed to be only about horror and splatter movies, however, already from word go I got into Hong Kong cinema and filled half of #1 with HK flicks. This was back in... well, long ago! Lately I’ve been thinking about doing a new issue - but the thing is just; I STILL wanna fill it with dark HK horror flicks, and since I also like so many other genres from HK that don’t fit into a straight horror mag I thought why not just publish a new mag. A right out Hong Kong movie mag. And so that’s what I’ll be doing now. And no: it won’t be an all-round ASIAN magazine, it’ll be primarily on the good and tried HK genre! And don’t gimme this “Korea is the new Hong Kong” bullshit. No it fucken ain’t! The sheer output of good HK movies may not be very impressive these days but who said anything about only covering new stuff. I’m gonna go back to those rare hard-to-find gems that are lurking in the dark. Flicks that are juuust so satisfying and entertaining that they beat any other movies from any other Asian territories. Anyway, enough already. Just wait till the mag gets here! Hope to see you then!! Jack J - And until the 'real' mag gets here, here's a coupla updates to entertain (or whatever) you non-existing readers: Wed. 17/1/07: Uhhh, I got OPERATION PINK SQUAD 2 (under the stoopid alternative title of “Thunder Cops”!) in the mail today!! DVD with Eng. subs! OK, the cover says fullscreen, but fuck that, at least I’ve got it now!! I’ve been looking for an official release for yrs and yrs! Another foggy 4 generation tape I can chuck out! Thus. 18/1/07 A couple of other HK flicks I got this week are: MISSION KILL (DVD) - this stars Simon Yam and Moon Lee, and I’m looking forward to it heaps! The DVD is letterboxed but unfortunately isn’t sub’ed. However, it was the ONLY version of it I could find and you know how it is: when you find something that looks mighty cool you just gotta get it no matter if it’s in a lingo you capische or not! And this week I also, FINALLY, got hold of BLACK CAT! I was fortunate enough to see this at the Chinese cinema in China Town in Melbourne in the early 90’s. Since then I got hold of some CRAPPY VCD but could never get hold of any of the DVD released that are out there. They all seemed to disappear as soon as I found out they even existed! This week I was fortunate and got hold of the old vhs from Made In Hong Kong in England. And yes, it’s a bloody video tape! However, I must admit I’m not so hung up on getting a DVD at all costs instead of a video! Apart from some awful English dubbed shite DVD from America the only DVD versions of this flick are from Asian countries and I bet they all feature the same bloody awful subtitles! This here video has GREAT subtitles. GOOD English, no grammar slurs!! And it’s fully letterboxed and fully uncut, and yes, although the pic IS video the quality IS quite good!! Two more flicks I’ve been on the hunt for for years are ANGEL and ANGEL 2. I already had a Danish tape of the first film, but unfortunately dubbed in Eng. and fullscreen. Now, unfortunately the ONLY DVD release that exists of ANGEL 1+2 is a German double disc that only has a German audio track. So this week I finally hunted down the old UK MIA VHS of the flick. Actually they’re both on the same cassette. Fully lbx’ed, great pic quality, but unfortunately also dubbed and fucking cut! When I ordered the tape I mistakenly thought it’d be sub’ed. However, I discovered that MIA actually DID put out ANGEL 2 on tape with subs so obviously I ordered that one too and got it a couple days ago. Looking forward to it. I’ve read different reports on weather it cut or not. I also got hold of the German DVD and although it’s an “18” release the Krauts STILL felt they had to cut scenes out of it for our protection!! So far I’ve watched the first one and the print was a little scratched but overall good looking and fully letterboxed. And not least; it’s the org. HK print. NO Anglo credits here! DEVIL HUNTERS (vcd) - Uhh, a CAT III flick and it looks pretty good too. From yesasia. LADY SUPER COPS (VCD) - another un-sub’ed release! Bloody hell!! But it’s just that I really wanted to watch this and altho it DOES exists on a subtitled DVD that release is way gone! (check out the cover at HKFLIX.com. POM POM AND HOT HOT (VCD) - apparently this contains some much despised slapstick but it’s also got (according to the “Asian Trash Cinema” book!) a bloody over the top ending! HOLY VIRGIN VERSUS THE EVIL DEAD (VCD) - arrrr... I watched this a couple nights ago and what can I say... it’s totally entertaining! Watch it! (and read Günter Müller’s review at http://mitglied.lycos.de/uzumaki). Letterboxed + subtitles. The print looks like it’s taken from a video tape but fuck that, this in another flick I’ve been dying to see for years and years!! Finally I also got a bunch of Barry Prima flicks: MEMBAKARMATAHARI (also starring Eva Arnaz), PASUKAN BERANI MATI (with Dana Christina + Eva Arnaz), PEMBALASAN JAKA SEMBUNG (Dana Christina + Eva Arnaz at it again), RATU SAKTI KESELAMATAN (with the queen of Indonesian horror: Suzzanna), JAKASEMBUNG DAN DEWI SAMUDRA. So, do I have to think long and hard of what to watch on telly the next few night? I think not. LOL.  Sun. 21/1/07 Received the Hong Kong “giallo” flick NIGHT CALLER on UK video. And again: stop frowning!! Watching this on video tape is the ONLY way you can watch this flick! It simply does not exist on DVD/VCD, at least not to the best of my knowledge!! The tape is subtitled and slightly letterboxed, and most importantly: UNCUT! Am looking forward heaps to watching this baby. Have already made a DVD-R copy in case the ol’ VCR eats the tape. I watched MISSION KILL the other night and it’s pretty entertaining. Not the best HK flick I’ve ever watched mind you, but still pretty enjoyable, and the (long) scene with Moon Lee and a fellow girlie shooting up 30 bad guys is just as mesmerizing as any scene out of ANGEL!! The print is nice but I could have done with some subs tho! I also watched JAKA SEMBUNG DAN DEWI SAMUDRA which is my first Jaka Sembung flick but which is actually the 4th in the series! Altho my mate over at http://mitglied.lycos.de/uzumaki Günter Müller says it’s pretty boring compared to the other ones I thought it was quite enjoyable. I mean; a movie where a guy cuts open a shark’s stomach and pulls out a mans decapitated head and proceeds to make a zombie out of it, how can that not be ENTERTAINING!! But on the other hand, if the other three are head and shoulders better than this, then I’ve got something to look forward to!!  26/1/07 I re-watched (for the untempth time) the Hong Kong cinema noir flick ON THE RUN, and, uhhh, it’s just such a good movie you feel like you have to lie down afterwards just to consume it all. Yes, it’s THAT good. Not just of a HK flicks but of ANY film! Pat Ha is the coolest, weirdest and leathalest (!!) of hit-men. Ok, maybe not, but she is damn cool in that movie, which, by the way, is heralded as her peak film by anyone who's ever reviewed this film. This is her best film of the lot. A lot that unfortunately didn’t consist of very many. But this; this is her Casablanca. I have the subtitled and fully letterboxed release from “Made in Hong Kong”. Believe it or not, but this is the ONLY uncut version of the film, all dvd releases are cut! And another reason why you should get hold of his ol’ video and chuck your lousy HK dvd away is that it comes with GOOD restored English subs! NIGHT CALLER: This one also stars Pat Ha and as you know, if you read the above that is, I also got hold of this recently on video from the UK. This is from Eastern Heroes and as far as I’ve been able to find out this isn’t available on dvd at all. The video is fortunately uncut (according to the BBFC homepage) but unfortunately altho the folks at Eastern Heroes were real fans of the genre they were also morons. I mean they had this cool Hong Kong take on the giallo genre and then they give it such a lousy treatment: only slight lbx and no restored subs. I guess I should be happy about it not being dubbed but still. Great flick tho, however, don’t see it for Pat Ha. Her role in this is not very interesting and she’s given about zilch to do with. ON THE RUN is the Pat Ha flicks to watch. RATU SAKTI KESELAMANTAN: Ahh, Barry Prima and Suzzanna! This is a VERY enjoyable horror/adventure/weirdo flick. Suzzanna plays 4 (or is it 5) characters, there’s gore, weirdness, wild costumes (look like they were left over from VIRGINS FROM HELL!!), and in an amazing scene Suzzanna pisses on some old wizard who tries to make an advance while she’s asleep. And I don’t mean from a lying position, no she’s STANDING and pissing on him! It’s quite a scene!! Very enjoyable. I just wish someone would release these movies on dvd, dubbed or sub’ed. 21/7/07 Heeey almost a six months break, arghhh!! Sorry 'bout that but for the longest period I just felt I couldn't be arsed to do a new mag! Sorry, but that's how I felt, and I still haven't made up my mind yet. The thing is, if I start doing a Hong Kong zine instead of my old horror/gore/trash movie mag BANNED IN BRITAIN then, well, I won't have a place to write about fun 'n' cool flicks like, uh I dunno, well, like THEY DON'T CUT THE GRASS ANYMORE, ha ha. I've been thinking about writing about those underground flicks and I can't really do that in a HK flick mag! But then again, it'll be a mess if I start writing 'bout too many HK cop flicks in BiB, or wacky comedies -which I might (and can) do in a HK flick mag! Big dilemma! I hate dilemmas!! Oh well, I'll just keep doing this page till I figure out what it's gonna be! I may very well just start writing stuff and then at the end of the day (at the end of the year more likely) I'll just chuck it into whatever magazine I'll have decided to do! LOL. Alright, movie time: I've been looking for those bastard IN THE LINE OF DUTY sequels for the longest time and now the good people at Joy Sales in HK have put out two of 'em: FORBIDDEN ARSENAL and SEAWOLVES (alternatively released as IN THE LINE OF DUTY 6 & 7). I already got hold of FORBIDDEN ARSENAL about 6 months ago on HK vcd but that vcd is fullscreen and chops off the subtitles left and right! the new release is nicely letterboxed. It's still a vcd only release tho, but apparently it's gonna get a dvd release at some stage. A dvd release that'll include remastered subs and translator Tinglunglau informed me (at ADG) that he'll try and get an interview with Garry whatshisface as well. Cool indeed. The other unofficial ITLOD sequel, SEAWOLVES, is also lbx + vcd only. And the same goes for that one as well: gonna come out later on dvd, maybe incl. some extras like an interview or whatever. Both movies star Cynthia Khan and well, what can I say, I like Cynthia Khan, LOL! A pity she (apparently) only does tv back in Taiwan now. Both films are fun and all. None of them are on par with the two first entries to the series, YES, MADAM! and ROYAL WARRIORS (that both starred Michelle Khan) but screw that. They're fun 'Girls with guns' flicks and that's what counts. Get 'em cheap at YesAsia! Oh yeah, Joy Sales have also put out Cynthia Khan's MIDDLE MAN on vcd but you can still get the dvd version (aka IN THE LINE OF DUTY 5: MIDDLE MAN) and since the subs aren't remastered I suggest you get hold of that instead as it's a dvd release and the new one isn't! Later dude. Sep. 14th, 2007 Another long stretch. Story of my life. Luckily it's not all I can 'stretch', ha ha. Got a buncha Asian flicks this week which may interest you (or not, see if I care). Back in the early days of collecting Hongkong flicks one film that hardcore tape-traiders were seeking high and low was MAGIC OF SPELL. Sometime in the early 90s I got hold of it from some tape-traider in... eh, Finland I think (those Finns, oh man, whenever you received a film list from any of them it was like getting a phone book, ha ha. They had soo much stuff. And of course there was no Internet in those days so everything was printed out on paper. Remember PAPER?? ha ha). Anyway, as I said I got hold of the film back then and I was EXTATIC! It was VERY enjoyable. I simply HAAAD to review it and if you've got issues of the old (and by now very much deleted) fanzine Bloody Darlings lying around then check early issues for my review (no, I don't remember which ish printed it). However, so why am I babbling about this now? Well, the good people at JoySales have just put it out!!! Yeah, it's so awesome that... it's just awesome! And it's even got subtitles so now we can even understand what the fuck's going on (the old version that was floating around was unsubbed). The down-part is that it's only out on VCD but screw that. It's here and I got it now. Something else that I've got and that I've wanted to watch for quite awhile is STONER. I remember reading reviews of this in the ATC book and now it's out on VCD as well. There are two versions; the org. HK version and a version released in the west that was missing some of the footage with Angela Mao (why anyone would not wanna see stuff with Angela Mao is beyond me). The westernised version was probably also dubbed. This new VCD is in Mandarin but fortunately the scenes of westerners speaking to westerners are still in English. It's presented in lbx and the subs are the old cinema subs. It would be a slight exaggeration to call it a masterpiece (far from it) but it's... entertaining. I'd like to see the westernised version (which I'd have to find a vhs to see as it's not on dvd). When I ordered MAGIC OF SPELL from DDDhouse I thought I might as well get some more stuff and went for stuff that I didn't know dick about but thought it looked interesting (and sometimes you have to go 'what the hell it look cool so... let's try it out'. If you only go for what is well known you'll miss out on finding that unknown wild and crazy gem that you're otherwise gonna miss. Well, that's my philosophy anyway). Anyway, I got PSYCHEDELIC COP with Danny Lee, PAYMENT IN BLOOD and judging from the cover I think the lovely Lilly Chung (princess of the CAT III films) is in it. They're both heroic bloodshed films (err, I think). I also bought MANIACAL NIGHT but I think I bought it cos I thought it was something else, a horror movie that I read about, but in fact it's... something else. It could be good. I guess. Ha ha, I'll let you know when I get thru the pile to it. NAAG DEVI is a snake horror film from India!! It's on VCD and I got it from that shop whatsitface YoYo or whatever. It's more than two hrs long but it looks good so... hopefully it is. Another one I've wanted for a long while is LADY REPORTER with Cinthia Rothrock. I taped it long ago from German tv, nice to finally get a print where they don't spean German, ha ha. On VCD from JoySales. Next up is Godfrey Ho's NARROW EXCAPE which turned out to be MAN BEHIND THE SUN part 3!!! On VCD. More stuff: THE DRAGON FAMILY (not kung-fu but gangster), KILLER'S NOCTURNE (heroic bloodshed), both VCD. And I looked thru the ATC issue with Thai horror/exploitation flicks and got hold of a handful of Thai: LIZARD WOMAN (greeeat cover, unfortunately no subs, I don't think there is a subbed version), SARS WAR which came in a VERY cool three page digipack with hologram cover and all. Subs too. DARK DEVIL looks like it's filmed on video and, uh, that's most often not a good sign. But we'll see. The last Thai flick this time is (hold on) PHOM MAI YAK PEN PHAN THOE (!!!). No, I don't know what it means either. The cover looked like a wild action/cop flick. The cover says something like 140 min!! It better be good if it's gonna steal 140 min out of my life, LOL. I also got Michale Soavi's new ARRIVEDERCI AMORE CIAO form the same Thai store but of course that's not a Thai flick. The last two are from good ol'e Hongkong (yes, I write Hong Kong in one word like they used to in HK in the 70s!): Herman Yau's new GONG TAU (of course you know Herman Yau right? You ought to; he did TAXI HUNTER, UNTOLD STORY and EBOLA SYNDROME!) + the old Shaw Brothers POLICE FORCE from Celestial. I've wanted that for a long time as well, ever since seeing pictures from it in MEMOIRS OF AN ASIAN MOVIE GOER book (I think it was). Oh, yeah, I also received the VERY, VERY awesome Indo flick RAMBU whih I already have on Greek video but a very nice member of Uncut.dk forum offered me the Danish vhs and how can you say no to that. Thanks Dennis! Now I just have to sit down and watch it all. What a 'chore' ha ha. See ya next time. Uhh, and I'm still thinking about/considering the magazine. Ahm... (“NOOSPAM” is to avoid those bloody spam machines that scour the net for addresses. Just leave it out if you write me) |