CAST: Hurghak the Confused Orc
| NAME: | Comrade Hurghak B. Wyldert |
| AGE: | Early thirties |
| RACE: | Orc |
| PROFESSION: | Revolutionary |
| WORLD OF ORIGIN: | Middle-earth, Fifth Age |
| FIRST APPEARANCE: | The Lumberjack's Song - Part Three |
Hurghak is slightly smaller than the average human (though still closer to them in size than
to hobbits or dwarves), slim, green-skinned, pointy-eared and sharp-
teethed. In other words, a totally average orc. His only remarkable feature
is his grin, which even among orcs is seen as "extremely wide" and
"slightly disquieting".
Hurghak grew up in a modern version of Middle-earth, where Man and Orc live
together in, if not harmony, at least some kind of ceasefire. Already in
his childhood he showed a certain ineptitude for the practical side
of life, so it was only natural that he chose - or rather, drifted into -
an academic career. After school he started studying Third Age
Archaeology at the University of Saint-Angmar, but after a mishap in an
excursion to Gullumlake (he slipped on a fishbone and threw a few thousand
orkmarks' worth of computer equipment into the water) he decided to change
his subject to something less dangerous. He spent a few years on various
subjects, including Black Speech linguistics and Trollogy, but with ever-
increasing boredom and aimlessness.
In this situation he discovered politics, and for the first time in his
life he found something that really evoked his enthusiasm. He joined the
ORSI (Orkish Revolutionary Socialist International), and became an active
member of the Saint-Angmar branch. In only two years he read everything he
could find by all reputed socialist and communist authors. Though far from
being a brilliant mind, with his enthusiastic exertion he gathered a
profound theoretical knowledge, and soon he was able to out-quote most of
his comrades. Unfortunately, his stubbornly academic behaviour left him
completely inept for the practical task of building the party, which too
often had to differ from the "pure" theories of two-centuries-old books.
Having spent his entire life in the sheltered environment of the campus, he
simply had no idea what real life was like.
Hurghak was one of those who accompanied Comrade Bagronk D. Mortzflurg when
he relocated to Balrog Cuttings to build an ORSI section there. However, he
continued to make a nuisance of himself there (for example by insisting on
totally senseless info-tables in front of the White Horse of Rohan, at
times when absolutely nobody in there was sober enough to read a leaflet).
One day, at a meeting of the party's Executive Committee (consisting of
him, Comr. Bagronk, Comr. Ghugg "Tasty Frogses" Smeagolurtz and Comr. Bluh
the Handkerchief) a strange phenomenon occurred. In one edge of the
conference room a dimensional hole opened. It was not surprising that the
Committee decided that Hurghak should be the first volunteer to travel
through this rift and explore where it lead to. Hurghak, believing this was
a great honour, boldly jumped into the hole. To the great satisfaction of
the Committee the rift closed immediately after Hurghak had disappeared.
Their joy was slightly attenuated when they found out that Hurghak had taken
their entire info-table equipment with him.
Hurghak re-appeared in a meeting of the Black and Red Army of Hyeron, and
after the initial surprise he joined their cause. Of course he immediately
became a severe annoyance for Captain Leila (who didn't like being lectured
on why her approach was unfavorably Maoist), and she sent him away from
Castle Hare to serve the Cause somewhere else.
Meneldil and Laurie found Hurghak imprisoned within a Hyeronian fortress, although he seemed to have a rather different impression of the state of affairs. Dispatched to Castle Hare with the others, the soldiers were becoming rather unpleasant until Meneldil's pet mûmak came to the rescue, and they continued on to Castle Hare. Hurghak's hopes of a successful revolution were blighted when he discovered that the monarchy was still very much in power, and he found himself in a decidedly awkward situation, made only more uncomfortable by the recent revelation that Laurie is actually Rabbyt's sister.
| FITNESS: | Good | FOCUS: | Putz | PERSONALITY: | Good |
| CO-ORDINATION: | Terrible | INTELLECT: | Good | APPEARANCE: | Average |
| QUICKNESS: | Average | WITS: | Poor |
| Theoretical Marxism: | Superb |